Maybe We Were Meant to Be (Tay Jardine and Jenna Mcdougall)

Family First

Tay:

I was back to feeling normal. I had, had a week of normality. It was pure bliss after the hell of depression. No more crying myself to sleep, fighting countless urges and guilty feelings of neglecting Jenna as she took such good care of me. The first morning I had woken up in a good mood, I cooked breakfast for Jenna and brought it to her in bed. I sat and watched her eat, we chatted and I snuck a few bites of her french toast. The meal ended with maple syrup being smeared on my lips and a great make out session.

Now it was Easter and my parents had invited Jenna and I over with the rest of the family. It had surprised me, but they had decided they really wanted to get to know the lovely woman that was taking such good care of their insane daughter. They didn't say that, but I knew that they probably felt a certain debt to her for keeping me alive. If only they knew the true extent to which she was there for me.

Countless nights I woke up from a nightmare crying and she was by my side reassuring me none of it was true, wiping tears off my cheeks. She would stay up as late as she needed to talk me through horrible thoughts in my head. I could see the exhaustion on her face most nights and I would send her to bed, but I knew she was there for me. I just wished I could be there for her.

The morning was spent scurrying around the apartment getting dressed, eating breakfast, arguing over what song to listen to. I had chosen Holy by Pvris, Jenna wanted I Am by her good Aussie friends Hand Like Houses. In the end neither one of us won, we put the playlist on shuffle and ended up listening to Set It Off and You Me at Six.

At 11.00 we were out the door on the way to my parents house. The weather was amazing, it was finally starting to warm up, the sun was shining. It seemed like a good day. We pulled up to the house, it seemed so big compared to my little apartment. It was where I had grown up and it had to be big enough for the three rambunctious triplets. There were already three cars in the driveway, we were the last ones there.

My hand shook as I knocked on the door. I was scared that this wasn't going to go well. My parents still hadn't accepted me completely last time I saw them, but I knew they were trying to change. It had taken me a while to accept myself, I shouldn't expect them to accept me immediately. My dad answered the door. He had a big smile on his face, I couldn't tell if it was real or not. I couldn't help but judge evey move he made, I didn't feel completely safe there. I guess I had been staring, Jenna had to elbow me in the side to snap me out of it.

Once inside, my mom greeted us with an equally questionable demeanor, and then I saw my siblings and I started to relax. I knew no matter what they would stand by my side if anything were to go wrong. The two of them looked at me with eyebrows raised. I probably looked like a deer caught in headlights. I could still feel myself shaking, my heart racing and my brain was over-working.

Jenna put an arm over my shoulders and guided me into the dining area with everyone else. I smelled the food from the nearby kitchen and my mouth started to water. I loved pretty much any meal I didn't make, everything tasted better when I hadn't put any work into it, but my mom's cooking topped it all.

I sat between Jenna and my sister with my brother across from me. The way we were sitting split my parents apart, making sure there negative energy wouldn't feed off of each other and at least one of my parents would get to talk and get to know my lovely girlfriend, plus I wouldn't have to talk to them much. I loved them, but I wasn't ready to open back up to them again.

My dad ended up sitting in front of Jenna, but he didn't talk to her much. He spent most of his time turned toward my brother and only acknowledged her presence when my brother tried to bring her in to the conversation. I made up for the neglect and made sure she didn't feel isolated. She talked with me and my sister. I was very grateful right now that I wasn't an only child.

My mom took her time getting the food ready. It was at least 45 minutes before she brought out the appetizer and then disappeared back into the kitchen. My predictions were coming true, my parents really couldn't deal with the situation. Though they had invited us, but we seemed unwelcome.

Before any more food was served I was already wanting to leave so, of course, as soon as everyone had finished eating, I excused Jenna and myself from the table and went to show her around the house. The bedroom my sister and I had shared growing up had been left the same, two twin beds up against two separate walls. In between them was a small wooden desk with a big chunky computer on top, we didn't have the luxury of laptops back then.

I gave my parents one last chance to make up for the rest of the day. We sat in the living room around the TV. My dad was watching the news, chatting with my brother about all the current events. My mom stared at the TV with glazed over eyes.

"Hey mom, thanks for the great lunch, Everything was delicious." I said in a cheery voice. I was trying my best to sound genuine.

She looked over and saw me and Jenna side by side, Jenna's hand on my leg, nothing out of the ordinary (if we had been a straight couple), but somehow it made my mom terribly uncomfortable. She didn't smile back, instead, she shifted in her seat and averted her gaze. "Thanks hun, I'm glad you liked it."

I had officially had it by now. I was ready to leave. I politely excused us and we left.

Jenna drove home since I couldn't stop crying from the time we closed the front door of my parents house until the time we closed the bedroom door in my apartment and I could finally rest my head on Jenna's chest. Hearing her rhythmic breathing and reassuring words, calmed me down enough for me to drift off in to a light, late afternoon nap.