Maybe We Were Meant to Be (Tay Jardine and Jenna Mcdougall)

Call Me Crazy

Hayley:

Valentines day was coming up and I felt so alone that I could be in the middle of Antarctica right now. Everything was cold, icy solitude. I wanted so badly to know I would have a special evening with someone even more special, but I knew that wouldn't happen this year. I was still caught up in Jenna's web, she had trapped my heart and though she had abandoned the web I was still attached.

I had seen from photos on the internet that Tay and Jenna were both in Australia enjoying the summer in winter. Despite the beautiful weather they never went to the beach and Tay was always in long sleeves. I figured I knew why.

She had interrupted one of Jenna and I's dates because of it and Jenna had come rushing to her rescue. I wonder if Jenna liked to be the heroin of the story and now that she was with her damsel in distress their relationship was stronger than ever. It could also be that her damsel would never be rescued from her problems and Jenna was starting to understand that she was stuck with that. I hoped it was the second and I might have a chance with her again.

My mind knew that such thoughts were foolish, but my heart was completely detached from logic. Some days my actions were governed by my head others by my heart. I preferred those which were lead by my brain, there was no pain with every move I made, but I did feel crazy.

Everyone told me I needed to move on, there was no way we would get back together, I had cheated on her and that was an unforgivable thing. I begged to differ since I had lived with the doubt about if anything was going on between Tay and Jenna throughout our entire relationship. It had probably been I leading factor to why I myself decided to have an affair.

I knew I had commitment issues: I didn't want to commit, but I was obsessed with one person for a long time and the two things put together never ended happily. It had been the breaking point for most, if not all, of my relationships since I first started dating.

A lot of people had told me that I should get help for my problem, I never listened to them because I didn't know what a stranger could do for my personal problems. The more relationships I was in, the more I realized maybe they were right. I would never solve this on my own.

The first step was finding someone. I went to my GP and asked for a recommendation on who to go to, she gave me a number and I headed home with it. I spent hours staring at it and it took me days to finally call. The voice on the other side was rough and deep, it didn't sound like someone sensitive and understanding, but I had no other choice and you can't judge a book based off the voice of the audio book.

A week later I was off to see the man who should cure me. I pulled up to a white house with a red door. There was a black iron fence surrounding the whole place. The atmosphere felt cold to me. I wasn't sure I had made the right decision to come here. I rang the bell and the gate opened. The inner courtyard was filled with green shrubbery and various colored flowers.

My instinct told me to turn back and never come back. This person was going to tell me I was crazy or that I was an idiot for not being able to give up on people. I kept walking and pushed open the door. There was a white sitting room. It seemed as clean and sterile as a hospital. No one else was in there, but there was a sign that read "please wait for the doctor".