Maybe We Were Meant to Be (Tay Jardine and Jenna Mcdougall)

Bad Times, Good Friends

Jenna:

Seeing her laying there still as a rock made every ounce of joy leave me. It looked like she was just sleeping, her eyes were closed and she had a beautifully peaceful look on her face, but I could do nothing to wake her up. I hated not being in control of the moment, not knowing what was going to happen next. The doctors said she should be okay as long as she regained consciousness within a couple of weeks, but seeing her look so lifeless I found that hard to believe.

There was a ton of support for Tay, especially on social media once the story had been published. They left incredibly sweet messages for her on Twitter and Facebook. They also understood when we had to cancel the remaining part of the tour. All our fans were sad that we weren't going to be able to finish it, but we promised we'd get to the cities we'd missed later in the year.

The hospital was filled with band members everyday as we waited for news. I spent most of my time in Tay's room. I liked hearing the reassuring beep of the heart monitor telling me she was still alive, it was the only thing that made me believe. Jordan was in the bed beside her and I talked to him to pass the time for the first couple of days. He had broken his arm, a rib and had gotten a slight concussion, but he was dismissed rather quickly.

The worst part was always when the nurses or doctors would come in and give me a half-hearted smile. I felt like it was them telling me I was waiting for nothing. I felt a piece of myself break every time. Tay meant so much to me, even though we had only started dating again recently, we had been friends for years. She was the only person I could talk to about anything. Now when I needed someone here to support me I didn't have her.

Everyone tried to comfort me as best they could especially Hayley. I don't know if it was because she was another girl or if it was because we had been so close not long ago, but she was the only person that I really felt comforted by. All the bad experiences and awkwardness between us vanished in my time of need. She gave me a shoulder to cry on, an ear that would listen and arms for reassuring hugs. I don't know what I would have done without her. I ended up depending on her being there to be able to sleep, we would talk about random things so that I wouldn't think about Tay until I passed out exhausted.

One night we talked about what we thought of EDM and music created almost solely by a computer. Hayley believed that just as songs with only screaming/growling vocals are considered music so should computer created music. I took the side that it wasn't music because there wasn't any emotion behind it, death metal and other aggressive forms of music that many people don't like definitely have anger, pain and torment in the lyrics. She decided to take it further and asked me if it would be music if we created computers with emotions to create the music. That fucked my head up, I wasn't quite sure what to say about it.

Another night she asked me what I thought art was. I told her I wasn't sure so she asked me if it was anything that could be considered visibly beautiful. I didn't think that really seemed right to me again it felt like an artist should put feeling in to their work (I must be an emotional person). Of course that wasn't the end of the discussion, she asked if that meant that something hideous could be art as long as the artist put a sentiment with it. That seemed good to me until she said greed was an emotion. I was regretting letting her start the topics, I always ended up stuck without words.

It took about a week for everything to come crashing down. It started with a nightmare: I was at a bar hanging out with Whak and Matt. The three of us were having a good time. Then my phone rang, it was the boys from WATIC, they told me to come to Tay's ASAP. I wound around countless roads, it was taking me far too long to get there. When I finally got to Tay's apartment it seemed to be deserted until I walked into a morgue (don't ask me how it got there, I don't know how dream logic works) on the examination table was the lifeless corpse of my best friend/girlfriend.