Maybe We Were Meant to Be (Tay Jardine and Jenna Mcdougall)

Closer

Jenna:

It was hard dealing with Tay's illness. I never knew if she was lying to me about how she was feeling or if she actually was okay. She had told me that the medication the doctor had put her on wasn't working. Today was the day she was going to see her psychiatrist. I was very relieved. I had asked her to ask about what to do when she had a crisis. She had been talking about having suicidal thoughts, of course leaving out the gravity of them, but nonetheless it worried me.

I sat out in the waiting room as she walked off with the doctor. The room she was in was only a few feet away. I guess having a girlfriend with a mental disorder had made me realize that most people with one are very normal. In the past I think I would have been a little freaked out over sitting in a hall that was probably filled with people that were "crazy".

Time passed slowly. I tried distracting myself with my phone, but I couldn't keep my eyes from wondering up to look at the door Tay was behind. I don't know what I expected to see other than wood. I wasn't going to be able to see through it and make sure she was alright. I did however get a chance to talk to her for a brief moment when the psychiatrist walked out of the room for a minute.

"Hey, how is everything going?" I asked.

"Fine. She's changing my meds." her voice was weak and shaking. Was she crying?

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Before I could ask why her voice was trembling the doc was back and I didn't want to waste time.

I sat back down in one of the plastic chairs up against the wall opposite the doors to the offices. Now my mind was spinning with thoughts of what would have caused Tay to be crying. I guess she could have been talking about her parents, that had been a sensitive subject recently. After the awkward meal Tay hadn't mentioned her parents and a week had already passed.

Time crawled by. Finally Tay came back out and it was time to go. Once we were out of earshot of the office I started talking. "How did it go?"

"Fine." her voice was still a bit weak.

"Were you crying?"

"No. I just get really nervous talking to people, especially when I have to talk to a stranger about my mental issues."

"Are you doing okay?" I asked, concerned.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"What did the doctor say?"

"She changed my medicine" she handed me a piece of paper with the names of the four medicines she had been prescribed. "and said that I need to really work with the therapist. Recovery doesn't just come from the medicine."

"Wow. They're getting you really drugged up."

"Yeah. One at least is only for emergencies like if I have suicidal thoughts or something and I can't calm down." she was starting to sound more like her normal self.

"Did you ask what else you can do if things get too bad?"

"She said to try calling there, that they have a doctor on call most of the time. Otherwise I'm supposed to go to the ER. If it gets too bad you might have to force me there. I hate the hospital."

"You've been there a lot recently. Let's hope you don't have to go back."

We drove by the pharmacy on the way home and filled the prescription. I felt bad for Tay. It probably didn't help her feel less crazy that she had to take all this medicine. I really wondered if she was only taking it for me or if by now she had decided it was for her too.

"I love you Tay, I'm glad you are trying to get better. I want to be able to be with you as long as possible." I said with a smile.

She smiled back and I felt a weight off my shoulders. "I love you, my little aussie."

"Little? I'm taller than you." I snapped back jokingly.

All Tay could think to do was stick her tongue out at me. I stuck mine out back. We laughed. This was the Tay I was so deeply in love with. It was good to have her back, even if it was just for a little while.