Disconnect || Lee Minhyuk

[ f o r t y - t w o ]

Jung Soo Yi

the wind blew through my face as i sat quietly under the night sky with jooheon right beside me. we were silent in appreciation of each other's presence in this much needed moment of us being together.

we were sitting on a bench together that was situated right beside a streetlight. in our silence, i felt that both of us felt mutually empty now that we were incomplete.

in a sudden, i heard jooheon let out a deep sigh.

i eventually turned to look at him and in a few moments, i let out a sigh as well. it was simple but enough to explain the way we really felt. with every sigh felt like a release and expression of burden.

"he's being too much. why can't he just admit how he feels about you.." jooheon suddenly spoke up.

"he's only hurting himself even more." he added.

i looked at him in confusion until jooheon finally gazed back at me.

"i was going to keep everything i knew to myself but seeing you getting hurt like this.. it looks like i couldn't bear to do so anymore." he spoke.

"what do you mean?" i asked.

jooheon crossed his arms and thought carefully about what to say to me.

"do you remember the other letter you received on valentine's day?" he suddenly brought up.

i was able to recall that memory almost instantly. how could i ever forget that day minhyuk made special? discovering how shownu was 'soap' got my mind too occupied that i forgot to figure out who wrote me the other letter.

"it was me. i wrote a love letter to you." jooheon suddenly revealed.

my eyes widened upon hearing the bold revelation. at that moment, i felt sorry for jooheon because i didn't exactly know how to react to what he had confessed to me.

all this time, he liked me in that way but he had been keeping it all to himself? how long has it been?

realizing how hurt he must have probably been seeing me hanging out with shownu, i felt a small sense of guilt and worry.

"but don't think about it anymore. i know you're probably torn right now, and you getting to know how i really feel about you is one of the things you'd need the least right now. still, i just wanted to put it out there. i didn't wanna hide it any longer." jooheon looked down and took a moment.

"because you.. you like minhyuk don't you?" he suddenly asked.

at that very moment, i was immediately caught off guard with how he caught on. jooheon had been so observant all along. i was speechless, admitting it would simply be stating the obvious.

"i can see it in your eyes. i could tell, and i always have..." jooheon spoke.

"i wanted to be honest about how i felt because i know how you and minhyuk aren't being so. soo yi-ah, minhyuk likes you too." he revealed.

my mouth slightly opened in surprise. was it true? did minhyuk ever look at me the same way i did for him?

"how could you say so? has minhyuk told you about this all along?" i asked.

jooheon shook his head with a painful smile on his face.

"he's been keeping it from me. he never said a word about it and i still managed to figure it out myself. he knew about how much i liked you so he was probably scared and didn't know how to act on his feelings."

"why are you telling me all about this? will you be okay?" i asked.

"i would be lying if i said it didn't hurt. but what's the point of pushing myself to you if you've already determined who you like? your feelings are both mutual, what else could i do?" jooheon spoke sense.