LOVE IS GONE - is this an end for us? (junkyu x reader)

15

“it’s been so long since we went somewhere like this, huh?” he says, making you surprised at the sudden turn of topic.

you don’t feel like changing it, though.

“with the gang? or just the us in general?”

“both” he replies quietly. “but more the latter.”

humming a little, you nod your head in agreement. “yeah. the last was probably when your parents made me go on your family trip during your sister’s birthday three years ago.”

the butterfly that makes its way in his stomach is so uncalled for. but junkyu feels so warm inside that he can’t even stop the genuine smile that makes its way out, a recollection of you whining about going on his family trip suddenly fresh in his mind.

“wow that was three years ago, huh?”

“yup” you say, swinging you legs a little.

“so close yet so far, right?”

sitting straight, junkyu contemplates on what to say next. it's been so long since he just… sat down and talked with you. which, to be honest, is probably why your relationship ended up that way.

for someone who liked to talk a lot, the last few weeks of their relationship were filled with cold shoulders and silence.

he's not sure who to blame; maybe it’s the stress of being so close to debut, maybe the both of you had too much in your plates that even explaining seem like a bother. or maybe the both of you are just too hardheaded for your own good.

whichever it was, junkyu regrets that your relationship ended that way. so… anticlimactic. not that he wishes for it to end badly…or at all, for that matters. but he knows whatever has driven you both to break up years ago isn’t something that’s unfixable.

“have you…been well?”

to say you are simply startled by his question would be an understatement. such a small, but heavy question. not long ago, junkyu wouldn’t have to ask to know how you’re doing. you're kind of sad that someone who you were so close to, now has to ask how you’re doing.

“i'm… just okay.” you settle for an answer. it's not completely a lie; because you are okay. but you’re not going to say there are days when you just want to call him and share your hard days with him. “you?”

junkyu doesn’t answer immediately. he takes his time to think as he looks at the ferris wheel, the lights making it look like a beautiful wheel turning in the sky.

“not as good as i would have liked to be.”

“junkyu…”

“i miss you a lot, you know?” he says, not wanting you to stop him now that he has the chance and the courage to say it out loud. “i don’t even know how many times have i wondered about why did we break up. wondering if that’s the right thing to do when my mind always wanders off to you when i’m not busy enough. doyoung and jihoon had to nurse me because piled up my schedule too much that my body just… gave up.”

“kyu…”

junkyu smiles sadly, looking down at his hands instead of at you. “sometimes i'd see you laughing with someone in the group and all i want to do is to join and make you laugh, too. but, every time i arrive when you’re already there, you seem to get quieter and it just… hurts. and i'm not blaming you. because i know that’s normal to happen. it's not going to be easy to just… pretend things don’t bother us, anymore. but—”