"how do you let go of the person that felt like home?" - hwamin
"how do you say goodbye when your heart still wants to hold on?" - junkyu
hwamin and junkyu, childhood sweethearts once dreamed of achieving their idol dreams together, but what happen...
It was the most disheartening car ride jihoon had ever felt in his life. You had kept your head down the whole drive, your hair covering your face. He's pretty sure he had heard you sob a few times.
He didn't comment, though. He just let you be as he put the tissue box on your lap, which you're really thankful for.
You expected him to drop you off and leave. So, when he turned to the parking lot instead of the lobby, you knew you're in for a night of emotional roller coaster ride.
The both of you didn't speak until you're in the comfort of your apartment. Your mom was prolly asleep by now, you wondered. Jihoon asked you to wash up first, change into something comfortable as he made some tea for the both of you.
When you came back out to the living room, jihoon was sitting in the sofa, looking at his phone with a frown gracing his face.
"Is everything okay, oppa?" you asked softly he barely even heard.
The guy turned to you; his frown immediately vanished. "Oh? Yeah... Yeah."
You sat down next to him, taking the mug he had offered to you. Taking in the warmth from the hot tea, you looked down at the swirling water.
"It's mint tea" he offered. "junkyu... once said it's your comfort tea."
You let out a soft 'ah', your heartbeat skipped at the mention of his name.
As you put the mug down, jihoon started speaking again. "Do you want to talk about it or do you want to wait for junkyu?"
Jihoon didn't expect you to tear up that quick.
"I... I don't know, hoon" you sobbed into your hands. "He's been bombarding my phone since earlier and I don't think I can face him yet because I'm too emotional right now? But does this mean I'm avoiding him? Should I just listen to him? What even is happening, oppa?"
He took the cue to explain to you, then.
He caressed your head softly, trying to calm you down first before he spoke. "I'm going to tell you whatever I think is necessary for you to know, okay? This is your and junkyu's problem and if there's any details I leave out regardless of why, should be up to him to explain to you."
You nodded, trying calm a little.
"That girl is... one of the BOD's niece," he sighed again. "We have met her a few times before, nothing big. Maybe once or twice a year because she asked for a backstage pass for YG family concert. The CEO said she's a fan, and because her uncle has a seat in the director board, sometimes she shows up and acts however she likes. We've never liked her to begin with because she's your typical spoiled rich girl, but we can't exactly tell her to go away either. We thought it should be fine, let's just tolerate her, it's not like we're gonna see her every day, anyway. And then about two months ago suddenly she started coming a lot and... this happened."
You kept quiet, your arms hugging your knees as you tried to process what he had said so far.
"after the trip then..." you whispered more to yourself than to your friend.
It is clear what jihoon trying to say: junkyu had nothing to do with her. And you got that. You got that since the beginning. You never thought there was; but it was so frustrating knowing this had been going on for at least sometime and now that you both were friends again he didn't even say anything to you. Did he doubt you wouldn't understand?
"I... don't know what sort of thoughts are going through your mind right now but, please, don't be too hard on yourself, okay? None of this happened because of something you do."
You gave a small smile at jihoon, not even saying anything.
"I know you doubt yourself sometimes. There is a reason why we're friends after all, isn't there? I get it, I really do. I know sometimes you think maybe junkyu deserves better, maybe you're not enough. But that's not the case. I've never seen junkyu as happy as he is with you and that girl has never brought a smile to his face even once. So, before you started doubting yourself, I'm already here to stop those thoughts from coming."
It sucked, to be honest. When someone understood you so well that they managed to get through your mind without you speaking at all, sometimes it felt like they're hitting right where it hurt. But that was what you needed after all, wasn't it?
You moved to hug jihoon, thanking him for being there for you even when you said you'd rather be alone. You knew those things jihoon said... they'd all start to haunt you again once he went back. But at least for now, you're okay. That should be enough.
After a few more hours of making sure you're okay (despite the few sudden tear works), he decided to get back to the dorm before it's too late. You hugged him once again, and he rested his chin on top of your head, once again reminding you not to doubt yourself.
That night, as you laid in your bed trying to sleep, junkyu's name popping out in your phone again and again brought tears to your eyes until you fell asleep, too tired from crying too much.
~~
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jihoonpvtspace- seeing you cry hurts my heart, please don't. i can't take this again
