LOVE IS GONE - is this an end for us? (junkyu x reader)

47

Hwamin POV

It's a stupid fight, Junkyu knows it better than anyone else. But at the time everything seemed overwhelming, even your simple question of why did he not say he'll be staying back in the dorm instead of coming back to your apartment managed to rile him up. Your tone wasn't even accusing; you were just asking.

"Do I need to tell you everything?" he had asked, the words out of his mouth before he could even proceed everything. "You should know by now if I didn't say I'd be coming over by midnight I'd be spending the night at the dorm."

You went silent, junkyu even needing to check his screen to see if you'd hung up.

This riled him up even more, for some reason. "Why did you even call if you're just going to whine and then not talk?"

It hurt. The way he didn't sound angry but downright annoyed, a sigh every time he finished a sentence and his tone exhausted.

Was talking to you something that much of a bother now? You didn't even have it in you to talk back.

He could hear you sniffing a little before you hung up without saying anything else.

It's roughly thirty minutes later, barely one in the morning, when jihoon stepped in the dorm, having spent some time on the other floor to play with hyunsuk.

"Oh, you're here?" Jihoon said the moment he came in, seeing junkyu staring blankly at the TV that's not even on. "I thought you'd be back home. Isn't it hwamin's grandpa's death anniversary?"

Junkyu had only stared at his close friend, eyes wide open as he struggled to say anything.

You used to be so close with your Grandpa, having spent your childhood with him more than you did your parents. His death five years ago was so sudden, something that you took a hard time accepting. Junkyu was there to hold you as you cried for at least a week straight.

He wasn't there with you for the next few years but now that you guys got back together you'd hope he would give you a shoulder to cry on all over again

But now he was accusing you to be whiny when you just needed someone to be with you through the hard night.

His calls went straight to your voice mail.

His texts left unanswered.

His manager wouldn't let him go out when it's already dusk outside.

~~

It had been a rough month for Junkyu, gearing up for a new album whilst having to deal with some stuffs the company had given him. He barely had time for you (and himself) and he’d been on edge after that night forgetting about your Grandpa’s death anniversary.

When he was finally able to reach you by going to your apartment a week later, you had just shrugged, telling him a very small ‘that could happen, ‘its okay,’ as you busied yourself in the kitchen.

He told you he couldn’t come earlier because there were too much stuffs going on, with the company moving to a new building and all that on top of the comeback.

You had just nodded, saying you understand. But even to your ears you sounded tense and robotic.

He held back a sigh, trying to calm himself down and pushed down his annoyance at your lack of response. He was stressed, and taking it out on someone else, especially you, is never the answer.

How did it turn out this way? You’re his stress-reliever, this wasn’t supposed to happen.

But even his awareness didn’t seem to work when everything he did to try lifting up your mood was answered with a simple shrug and a nod. Your sentences were short and curt, only saying what’s needed.

After another hour of trying to no avail, he finally broke and sighed, making you look at him. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I’m not going to excuse myself, there’s no good reason behind that day and I’m genuinely sorry I snapped on you. I shouldn’t have done that; not on that particular day, not ever. But I don’t know what else I can do to make you feel better if you’re refusing to talk to me.”

“You don’t have to,” you tell him, voice small though it’s the loudest he’s heard you talk all day. “Try to make me feel better, I mean.”

Junkyu frowned, not getting what you’re saying.

“Obviously, you and me are both not in a good state to be near each other. I’m stressed and you’re stressed, no good forcing yourself to make the other feel better when you’re not even in a good state.” You shrug, playing with your hands.

“Are you telling me to go away?” he asked, brows furrowed together.

“I’m telling you there’s no need to force yourself to take care of me,” you said, looking at him in the eyes for the first time since he came.

“Force myse—do you think I see you as a burden? Is that how you see me now? Because of one mistake?”

Junkyu was agitated, then. He has always been a rather emotional person even with his ability to be level-headed, but currently his emotion seemed to fly all over the place at the wrong time.

“Look, do you even remember the last time we actually talked to each other?” you asked, staring at him.

“That—” he started, not wanting to lose. “That’s because you haven’t been replying to my calls!”

You shook your head, knowing well enough he knew. It had been too long; maybe a month, maybe two, maybe more. The both of you had been too busy with your comebacks, too stressed with your own burdens that even the relationship seemed like one.

“I just… I think it’ll be better if we… stay away from each other for a while; see where that takes us. Everytime you talk to me I feel like you’re doing it halfheartedly and I’d rather you not—I don’t… I don’t think this is healthy for both of us, Kyu” you brought up, digging your fingers to your palm.

“Everytime we talk to each other we either end up fighting or frustrated. This isn’t how a relationship supposed to work”

“Are you breaking up with me?” he scoffed, anger boiling in his chest. It’s a wrong move, the little voice in his mind reminded him, don’t try to fight.

“I’m here trying to apologize and you’re breaking up with me?”

“Fine” he cut you off, not wanting to hear whatever you had to say and quickly standing up from the sofa. “If you think you’ll be better without me, fine.”

“kyu, that’s not what I’m saying—”

He didn’t even let you continue, already out of your door in the blink of an eye.

Junkyu felt shitty almost immediately, but his pride wouldn’t let him go back and try to make things better.

Jihoon didn’t talk to him for at least two weeks after he found out.