"how do you let go of the person that felt like home?" - hwamin
"how do you say goodbye when your heart still wants to hold on?" - junkyu
hwamin and junkyu, childhood sweethearts once dreamed of achieving their idol dreams together, but what happen...
the subject was bound to come up at some point, but you couldn’t deny that you wished it hadn’t been so soon. simply hearing the words leave your boyfriend’s mouth made your stomach tighten like a coiled snake, ready to strike at any moment. “so, what do you think?” junkyu approached gently.
“babe, I…” you began, your mouth opening and closing helplessly as you tried to find the right words to say. however, no matter how much you searched, you couldn’t find the voice within you.
a comforting hand found its way to your back, meandering its way around until it rested delicately on your shoulder. “never mind, i understand that this is hard for you.”
you felt terrible. completely and utterly terrible. junkyu was the most amazing, incredible, wonderful person in your life; nothing could change that. thats why you had begun to ask yourself, ‘why can’t i just do this? It’s obviously what he wants.’ he constantly assured you that he doesn’t mind waiting but you couldn’t help but worry – what if he does get bored?
Junkyu stood up, his body hunched over slightly and a smile on his face which you could tell was there to mask his disappointment and dismay just like every other time he suggested you take this next step in your relationship and you, time after time, had shot him down.
You watched junkyu as he exited the room without another word, adding guilt to the bottomless pit that was stomach.
Of course, your handsome, bubbly boyfriend was more than ready to put your relationship out there to the public, to the fans, to everyone. Hell, if you were like him, you’d surely want to do the same! However, your insecurities gnawed away at you whenever the thought of doing such a thing even crossed your mind. Imagine the fan’s reaction when they find out that their idol, whom they believe they are in love with, has decided to be in a relationship with someone like you. A painfully normal, rookie idol is all that you felt you were when you looked at all the other idols junkyu could have chosen over you. Plus, there would be so much hate involved – not only for you, but for junkyu too.
You didn’t even want to think about how you could be the reason for distressing messages to be sent to someone so undeserving of it.
Junkyu claimed to be fine with keeping everything private for a while longer if that is what made you feel comfortable. However, he’d brought it up so many times now and it was clearly something he longed for deeply. Wasn’t it time for you to do something for him?
Collecting your emotions, you tiptoed your way into the bedroom where junkyu sat. Creeping around the door, you stood silently as your boyfriend’s eyes peered up to look at you. His eyes trained to your face, he raised an eyebrow at you. “Is everything okay?”
“I… I want to talk to you about all of this,” you began, sighing deeply. “If we don’t discuss this I’m afraid that I’ll never agree to it.”
Junkyu nodded considerately, patting the bed for you to come and sit beside him. “What is it that you’re afraid of?”
“The fans, mostly,” you said, shushing him when he tried to interrupt. “I know most of them are lovely, I’ve witnessed that, but that doesn’t discount the fact some of them wouldn’t be so nice. Plus I'm still a rookie”
Humming slightly, junkyu placed his strong arm around your body and you leaned into his touch. “I get that, I really do,” he told you in his sing-song voice. “But, the thing is you need to realise is that nothing anyone else says is going to affect our relationship. For me, at least. I know who I’m in love with, others have no say in that.”
“I know, I know. It’s just… you know how insecure I am. Plus, I could never forgive myself if I was the reason for fans turning on you.”
“Then they’re not real fans, are they? both for me and you, I have my fair share of being scared too you know i have seen your fanboys” he laughed, turning to face you and taking your face in his large hands. “If they ever said anything, and I mean anything, out of line to you I wouldn’t hesitate to snap right back. I love you and I want to protect you, but I also want to be able to show the world you’re mine and live like a normal couple. I really love you”
Relishing in the warm touch of his fingertips and the soothing tone of his lips forming those incredible three words, you trained your eyes on his. “I want that too.”
In one swift movement, Junkyu was lifting you up off the bed and twirling you around. As he placed you down, he chuckled lightly. “You know I’m always going to protect you, right? I’m your knight in shining armour.” A smile as bright as the sun graced his face and you knew your happy boyfriend has returned and to know you were the reason for it made your heart swell. This may be scary, but you wouldn’t want to do it beside anyone but him.
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Hwamin instagram post
hwa_min - 차찬!당신께 선물!나는 있는 모든 메시지, 비디오,에서 받은 모든 것을 읽기 나도 🥺 내 인생 나도 많이 사랑할 만하다는 것을 했니 나 스스로에게 묻고 감사합니다 시간을 보냈다 지난 주?🥺이 나는 조금 슬펐지 한번, 난 소셜 미디어에 게시하는데 너희들이 내 힘 나를 가져올 수 없었다면 나는 나는 적절히 끓여라지 죄송합니다전에 토끼를 잡아서 너희들을 걱정시켰어 😩 내가 이 노래를 너희 모두를 생각하며 썼어! 너희 모두가 많이 좋아했으면 좋겠어 😜 너희 모두가 좋아한다면 이렇게 커버도 올릴게 💓 난 항상 너의 발톱을 사랑해, 항상🥰 (chachan! a gift from me to you ! the past week i spent time reading all the messages, videos, everything that i got from you and i am so grateful 🥺 i ask myself what did i do to deserve so much love ? 🥺 there was a time i felt a bit sad, i just couldn't bring myself to come post on social media but you guys were my strength, i am sorry i couldn't share it before and made you guys worry 😩 i wrote this song thinking about you all ! i hope you all like it a lot 😜 i will try and post covers like this if you all like it 💓 i love you claws, always.🥰) これからもお互いに全てを共有して、大変な時はお互いに頼れるといいですね💓 (I hope in the future we can share everything to each other and rely on each other in tough times 💓)
Comments:
'baby🥺🥺🥺' 'the lyrics naur🥺🥺' 'we love you so much' 'you are loved baby you mean a lot to us🥺' 'no matter what we will always stay by you and protect you 💓' 'the lyrics is making me cry 😢' 'we don't deserve her naur 😢😭' 'yes bb💓' 'we love you more' 'glad you're feeling better bb we're always here for you🤍' 'BAEMON AND CLAWS FOREVER'
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junkyu story update
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