LOVE IS GONE - is this an end for us? (junkyu x reader)

21

It is your turn to tighten your hand in his now, you know hyunsuk has always been protective towards you but you never imagined it would come to that extend. Just like any other human being, you get that kim junkyu, too, has his insecure moments; moments when he thinks he's not good enough and he never does good.

"I... at the time I really believed it, you know?" junkyu looks down, ashamed; his voice barely a whisper.

"jun-"

"I... I thought hyunsuk was right and I know it was all my fault and... remembering how dejected you look in jihoon's arm it hit me how big of a mess I have made and this week has been so shitty and I miss you so much and I-"

"Shh..." You scoot closer to him, pulling his head into your neck and his arms automatically wrap around your waist to hug you close. "Calm down, okay?" You remind him, your hand going up and down on his back as you look up to the ceiling of the room, trying to hold back your tears.

You're sure you've never seen junkyu being so openly emotional as right now, and as much as this is supposed to be junkyu comforting you, it's hard to let him be when he's being like this.

Junkyu does not cry. That's just the kind of person he is. He doesn't think crying isn't "manly", whatever that means, but junkyu just doesn't cry a lot to the point he says he's envious that you seem to cry easily, that it seems... comforting.

Even right now, he's just staying there on the crook of your neck, his breath heavy as he tries to calm down. He isn't crying but he really feels like it would be better for his emotion if he is.

He looks up at you after a few more seconds, his eyes meeting yours; the pair of eyes that he loves the most-ones that's currently blurred by tears. You blink continuously, trying to push the tears back.

Junkyu then sits up straight, trapping your face between his delicate hands.

"I love you so much,always have, you know?" He whispers, chanting your name like a charm. "I can't afford to lose you again."

"Why... kyu?" You ask finally. "Why did you think I'd rather worry about this now rather than before? Do you not trust me?"

His heart breaks; at the question, at how small your voice sounds, at how you sound like you're holding back a sob, at how tired your usually twinkling eyes look.

"No... You know it's never about trust, baby," he says, his eyes just as sad if not more than yours. "I genuinely didn't think it would turn this big and I just didn't want to add to your burden at the time. I know how stressful that project had been for you and I didn't want to complain about some annoying girl when you barely even have time to sleep."

Another sigh. You take his hands off your face, holding them on your lap. "Were you ever going to tell me-at all?"

"Yes. I thought she would be gone before your project's done and I would tell you then. But things got bigger and the members, too, kept on pushing me to tell you so I was stuck but that... isn't any excuse. I was wrong and I should've told you from the very beginning."

You bite down on your lip again, looking at your hands.

"Look at me, please?" he pleads, his voice so soft you're sure you wouldn't have heard him if you hadn't been so close to him.

"Baby... please..."

When you look up at him, your sight once again blurry because of your tears, junkyu gently brushes his thumbs on the skin underneath your eyes, making your eyes close as your tears finally escape.