LOVE IS GONE - is this an end for us? (junkyu x reader)

54

Pulling back a little, Junkyu looks at you with eyes red with tears. You’re no better yourself, you’re pretty sure you’re more or less in the same condition as him.

“It’s not okay at all and you know that,” he says again, his thumbs are gently wiping your tears as he calms down a little. “We could’ve sat down and talk about it but I stormed out out of anger, breaking up with you when that’s not what you or even I really wanted. Not then, not at all.”

“You know I had my own share of fault too, right?” you tell him, your hands grasping his face. He’s so close and you wish you could’ve just kissed him and pretend everything’s okay. That the past two months didn’t happen. But you know it’s not that easy, whatever’s going to come out of today, you know you have to talk it out with him.

Junkyu reaches up one of his hands to clasp your hand, his thumb caressing your knuckle out of habit. Oh, how has he missed this proximity. “You know what I realize these past few months?”

You just hum, asking him to continue. If there’s anything you miss the most from him, it’s to get lost in his eyes, letting him do all the talking as you dive deeper in his gaze.

“That I can’t be without you,” he tells you firmly, his tired eyes piercing into yours. “That, even though we spent months barely talking to each other before that, it’s okay because I know you’re there at the end of the day. That you’re with me and I took that for granted.”

You cry even more at his words; at the way he’s looking at you. Why does it have to reach this point for the two of you to realize you need each other to be okay? To be able to tell each other you’re nothing but an empty soul when the other isn’t around?

As you wipe your tears, you’re about to tell your own sentiment when the door to your place opens, the sound of someone rustling can be heard through the silent apartment. You share a look with junkyu before turning to the person coming in.

“Oh, you’re here,” jihoon says plainly. You can’t tell what he’s feeling, but you know he’s still pissed at junkyu for the time you spent crying.

“hoon—”

“I don’t wanna hear it from you,” he cuts junkyu off, turning to you instead. He frowns at your red eyes, but he figures the two of you must’ve finally talked it out by the way Junkyu's eyes are also red and the trace of tears are still visible on his face. “I came to my apartment but you weren’t there. You didn’t answer my call so I figured you’re back here.”

Something hits Junkyu at the back of his mind; not jealousy, he knows, at least not because he thinks Jihoon would take you away from him. But it’s no lie that Junkyu feels shitty for making Jihoon pick up the broken pieces that he’s caused. On the other hand, he’s glad you have someone that cares for you to this extend.

He couldn’t probably tell how grateful he is for jihoon because he’s there to take care of you when he was being a coward back at the dorm.

“Ah, sorry” you tell him as you take a sip of water. “I… met junkyu at the front and… yeah.”

Jihoon just hums as he sits down on the lone sofa next to you, crossing his long leg over the other as he glances at his leader. He knows he might be intruding now, but his sense of protectiveness gets the better of him. He’s not here as Junkyu's bestfriend now, he’s here as your bestfriend and he’s not going to let junkyu break your heart again.

“What are you doing here?” jihoon asks brazenly.

“To talk” junkyu answers. It’s not surprising that jihoon's being like this to him, he’s known the guy since he was still in school and he knows jihoon wouldn’t let him have it easy. He knows he deserves it.

“After months of ignoring her?”

“Park Jihoon!” you frown at your friend. You know jihoon's always been protective, but you can’t just stay still seeing him being rude in front of you.

“What?” he says nonchalantly. “It’s true.”

Junkyu catches your eyes, giving you a thin smile, telling you it’s okay. “I’m not going to say what I did was right.”

“Damn right it wasn’t” jihoon bites back in annoyance. He’s not sure if it’s the silence he’s been keeping to himself as he refuses to talk about it with his bestfurne all this time, but now that he sees him in your place, it feels like he’s finally able to let it out. “You made her cry and then leave her to tend to herself? You’re joking if you think I’d let you get her back easily.”

In honesty, jihoon knows he’s close to crossing the line of meddling into your relationship. But he’s just barking now, letting out all the pissed off energy he’s been keeping to himself and saying whatever that comes to his mind. At the end of the day, he knows to it’s up to you if you want to take junkyu back this very second.

Junkyu winces at his words, guilt pouring in once again as the memory of storming out of your place still vivid in his mind. He regrets it every single day since it happened, but his pride wouldn’t let him go back and apologize. When a few days have passed, he’s too scared to come and beg for forgiveness, not ready to face your possible rejection.

“I was wrong, jihoon,” he finally says, exhaling yet another deep breath. “I’d apologize every single day if that’s what you want, and you’re right for saying she shouldn’t take me back easily when I’ve done such a thing because I was overemotional at the time. But I’m not going to say I wouldn’t try, I’m not stupid enough to back down just because you’re telling me to do so.”

You turn to junkyu in surprise, not expecting him to say all of this calmly as if he’s been thinking about this since a long time ago. Even more, you didn’t expect him to take jihoon's words to the heart like this.

“Kyu—”

“It’s okay,” he smiles firmly at you for the first time that day, his smile is determined and helpless at the same time. You’ve seen this smile before, one that he gave you a long time ago when you had your first big fight with him and he told you he understood if you wanted to break up. “It’s okay.”

Jihoon's pretty sure it’s a scene that he shouldn’t be in. He feels like this is something so intimate that he’s not meant to witness. But, at the same time, he wonders if there’s anything more beautiful than the sheer of understanding the both of you share without much words; than the way you weakly smile back at junkyu as if telling him to hang in there. He wishes he can save this moment in a picture as a way to remind him that is what love is supposed to look like.

“What do you want me to do?” junkyu turns to him, acknowledging his presence again at last. Frankly, there’s no need in making things up to him; jihoon has just been giving him empty threats without any means to do anything about it, but who is he to pass such opportunity?

“Dunno,” he shrugs. “Make sure to clean up after your mess in the dorm? Kinda tired of cleaning up after you guys. What’s the use of breaking into three dorms when I’m still with you who cleans the least?”

“kyu!” you hit his shoulder, turning to him. “I’ve told you not to leave thrashes everywhere just because you’re home!”

Junkyu scoffs in disbelief, seriousness leaving his body at jihoon telling him off. “In my defense! I wasn’t in a good state of mind!”

You roll your eyes at him, your arms crossing together in front of your chest. “I wasn’t either, but you don’t see my house being a mess!”

“That’s because you’ve been staying at his place!” he points at jihoon, knowing well you can be pretty messy if it comes to it.

As the both of you continues to argue over stupid matters, jihoon simply smiles at the sight in front of him. In the end, it is that easy for you to take junkyu back in because he knows it’s just that easy for the both of you to find your way back to each other.

He’s never been one that believes in soulmates and stuffs like that, but looking at you and junkyu together, maybe it’s not that off that there’s someone out there that’s just meant to stay with you. 

At the end of the day, he’s learned that even simply staying by someone’s side means a lot more than one would think it really is.