LOVE IS GONE - is this an end for us? (junkyu x reader)

90

hwamin pov

even drunk and dizzy, you were thinking about yourself.

the first thing that crossed your mind the second you entered your apartment was that how you wanted to leave. leave seoul. leave your work. leave everything behind without a trace.

leaving has become this stupid habit of yours, even when it’s totally unnecessary. and a loud voice in your head is screaming at how selfish you are.

you left junkyu again. you left him with even more questions this time. the poor boy probably only wanted answers, yet you couldn’t give it to him. that’s all you’ve been doing to him: leaving him broken.

your head’s killing you and all you wanted to do is sleep with the alcohol in your system, but junkyu's face when he asked you a train of questions came back to you. he had never looked so desperate to get something, and you were really selfish because he wasn’t even asking for anything tangible; he only wanted to know why you left him. and you didn’t give it to him. you were only thinking about yourself, and he didn’t deserve it. this was the exact reason why he never deserved you.

(but despite it all, he only wanted you.)

you told yourself you were done. you were done leaving and running away from everything. you’re going to get a grip of yourself and tell him. you’re going to fix yourself and make it up to junkyu for everything you’ve done. you knew it would never be the same again, but you knew you had a chance. and even if that chance is as small as a grain of sand, you were willing to risk everything as long as it meant you could return all the love that junkyu has given to you.

~~

junkyu has grown tired.

not of you, though. never of you. he wished he would eventually get tired of you, but he guessed it wasn’t time to get over you yet. looking back at the months he tried to, he figured he shouldn’t force it. he shouldn’t try too hard to get over you, because not only was it mentally draining to forget you but you were lingering everywhere he went—even without your real presence—and he was getting tired of running away. all this time, all he had been really doing was running away from the fact that you really had left him. he thought that getting angry with you and cursing your name would mean that he was facing the real problem: losing you.

distracting himself through work, although it tremendously helped his group and helped him improve, was never really the answer to getting over the breakup.

to get over something means to face it. if he had to stare at his broken heart all day and cry his heart our until he runs out of tears just so he could start accepting the fact that you were really gone, if it meant that he could start getting over it, then he realized he should.

but you are intoxicating. even long gone and moved on, you still had a strong grip on his heart.

junkyu imagined the way he truly loved you. you had broken his heart by breaking up with him for a reason he wasn’t really sure about. at that time, even with your soft features and tears pooling on your eyes, it felt like you ripped his chest open, grabbed his heart and ferociously slammed it on the floor, stepping on it to break it even worse. he imagined that even when he had done that and left your apartment with a broken heart, if given the chance, he would still have picked up his broken heart, wiped it clean and given it back to you. perhaps even if you had kept on throwing it away, he would still have ran after you every day and offered it until you finally take it back.

but he didn’t.

his mistake, he realized, was he never ran after you. he didn't stay.

his anger consumed him, made him think about things he never thought about, changed the way he saw you. he was cruel—he admits that—for ending your relationship so abruptly and without a solid explanation. but you once told him that he was the only person in the entire world who knew you. he had you all memorized—the way you blink excessively when you lie, the amount of times you had told him you didn’t deserve him, the poignant feeling of your lips against his on that day, like you were telling him exactly how you felt without talking. so how did he not see it? why did he need to see you cry to know you were hurting, too?

how did he not see your heart breaking when he ended things?

so he decided to just get it done and over with. he’s getting over it.

because junkyu has grown tired. he’s tired of being angry. of pretending. of wishing on a star. but never of you. jesus christ, minnie, never of you.

~~

junkyu.treasure instagram post

junkyu.treasure - i miss you, our teumes 💎

Comments:

'we miss you more 💔'
'im gonna cry i miss y'all so much'
'💔💔💔💔💔 i miss you'
'this is so sad :('
'teumes miss treasure too 💎'
'you are so cute'
'our baby 🥺'
'we miss you too ☹️'
'lets meet soon ☹️💔'

~~

hwa_min instagram post

hwa_min -  claws ! what are you doing 😽 this is a throwback picture with sua unni 👯

comments:

'thinking about you 😭'
'nm bby wby'
'its late honey go to sleep ☹️'
'junkyu and minnie posted same day !!!'
'get over it please it's been weeks 😦'
'you're so pretty'
'i love you baby'
'watching baemon reality wby bb'
'dreaming about you🥺'