Our Secret Dream

Turtles & Waves Part 1

We don't have long until it's Bryan and I's 1 year anniversary and I couldn't be any more excited to finally get to celebrate the day with him. A day that is solely for us. Even though we spend so much time together both at home in LA and whilst we have been in Hawaii I can honestly say I never get enough of being with him. If anything it feels like we don't spend enough time together even when we are together 95% of the time.

It really is just like how people say, when your with your person(your other half) you can never spend enough time with them. I keep thinking how incredible it is to have found my person at the age of 21. It feels like I am in a dream just waiting to wake up.

Today, we have all decided to have an active adventure day, combined with snorkelling and surfing. Quinn and I are super excited about potentially swimming with and seeing turtles. Turtles have become a spirit animal for Quinn and I for years ever since we saw them in an aquarium, we both just find them so inspiring. They are strong, independent and not to mention resilient. Its really hard to try to explain it to the level it deserves but you'll have to take my word for it.

I'm a little nervous over the whole surfing part of today but I am not going to show that worry to any of the boys here including Bryan. I have learnt from that mistake. Chris clearly can't help himself but to continue to subtly tease me about the great open waters and how a shark could just swollen me up whole from beneath my small frame.

As a group we all walk down to the local beach to meet our instructors for the day. The boys are dressed in their swimming trunks and have caps and sunglasses. Quinn and I are wearing very small bikini's with the intention to drive our men wild. To make things more fun for us we decided to switch the bikini bottoms to a thong style pants, of which only just covers our ass. We both know that as soon as Bryan and Dom see us they will see red and probably demand that we go back and get changed or force us to swim in our shorts. Both of which will not be happening as I am in a mischievous and bratty mood.

For right now Bryan and Dom are non of the wiser as we are both wearing shorts, paired with sandals and sunglasses. So the suspense that I can feel building is making my chest feel sticky. Tyler, Chris & Tristan are walking slightly ahead of us down the beach pushing against each other probably in an attempt to make one of them fall into the water. I'm walking hand in hand with Bryan, stealing the occasional glance in his direction. His blue eyes seem brighter today like them have changed from an crystal blue to a tropical blue. His hair although pushed under his cap is messy and sprawled across his forehead and is peaking out from the edges of his cap. I have to fight the urge to steal his cap and run my fingers through his hair. It still bazaar to me that everyday he still manages to surprise me. Either by something he does, something he's said, the way in which he holds himself and supports everyone around him. He is literally like the walking version of a rubix cube. Damn near impossible to solve completely and yet you can help but keep trying. It's one of the many things I value, appreciate and love about him.

Since we first arrived here in Hawaii, Bryan has been so relaxed and carefree, it's like a switch has flicked inside his head and he is just living in the moment. Not only with me because I get to see this side of him more than the others but with his brother and his friends. It's a real pleasure to see it. I get so much happiness from just seeing him happy and being with his friends having fun.

I know that since I have been in LA our relationship has been a whirlwind romance, filled with many highs and lows but I wouldn't change any of it and I know Bryan feels the same. But, in saying that it's been hard on him, he's been trying to juggle so many things in both our relationship, his career and his friendships that it's been hard on him. Maybe I should force myself to have two nights a week when I'm busy so that he can just do whatever he wants on those nights without him having to feel like he has to choose. 1) to hangout with me and have a date night or 2) hanging out with his friends.