Our Secret Dream

Home, Sweet Home

We've all just walked through the doors to DreamLA after spending the morning at SwayLA watching movies and recovering from our hangovers. My heads still a little sore between us but the guys don't need to know that. I head up stairs and into my bedroom, changing into some fresh clothes. As we don't have much else planned for the day I pick an oversized sweatshirt and some pink fluffy shorts. I match my shorts with my fluffy pink sliders. I'm about to leave the room when my phone rings, I see the caller ID and it's my manager Thomas Rickets.

Thomas: Skylar, Great to finally get a hold of you.

Skylar: Hi Thomas, you realise I'm on vacation right?

Thomas: I'm aware Sky. That doesn't mean you can ignore my calls.

Skylar: Tone Thomas, You work for me not the other way around.

Thomas: We've had to bring forward the socials release. All your accounts will be made public within the next 24-48hours.

Skylar: You What! We agreed I'd have 6 months.

Thomas: Plans change Skylar. Your image needs this.

While I'm on the phone I receive a message from Leaha, Thomas's assistant she explains that it's not for my image it's because he wants to secure a promotion and this will do the trick.

Skylar: Oh really Thomas. So this has nothing to do with the promotions email I received from head office?

Thomas: Uh-I

Skylar: Just like I thought. You know what Thomas. As of now my contract has been terminated with Elite Management.

Thomas: You can't do that!!

Skylar: Actually I think you'll find I can. It's in my contract.

Thomas: You Bitch. You've always been a stuck up, selfish slag. Only ever looking after yourself.

Skylar: Excuse you Thomas but there is no need to make this personal.

Thomas: Personal. You've just made sure I'm going to loose my job!! You realise those boys are going to abandon you when you become public don't you? They only hang around with you because they see you as a charity case.

Skylar: Enough Thomas. Stop when you still have a shred of dignity and self worth.

Thomas: Your boyfriends only with you because your a slut and an easy lay. You'll see karmas a bitch and she's coming for you. Don't come crawling back to me looking for a manager again when life fails in LA.

The line goes dead. I stare at my phone is disbelief. I couldn't believe what I'd just experienced. Thomas had never ever acted in that manor before let alone say all of those nasty things. I feel something on my face and when I wipe it away my finger tips are wet , I'm crying. The reality of the words Thomas had said have hit home and even though I'd never said them they held meaning. Deep down inside of me I'd been waiting for them to happen. My GAD has set them ablaze and I'm starting to over thinks and panic. Thousands upon thousands of thoughts running through my head. The more thoughts I have the harder I cry. I quickly dash out of my room, down the stairs and into the garden, hiding in a covered corner out of sight by everyone.

*****

I been outside for over half an hour and I have finally stopped crying. My eyes are puffy and my face is splotchy. I stand up and make my way inside and into the kitchen where I run into Mel. Mel decided to cook a British classic for tea tonight, roast chicken with all the veggies you'd expect. I offer to help needing the distraction. I know she knows I've been crying but she doesn't question or push me on the matter. I have been living with the boys in LA for two months now and I can honestly say I have loved every second. Not to mention my relationship with Bryan. But I have a secret, I've been looking for places to rent or buy out here in LA. I've already sold my place back home and thanks to Leaha all my belongs are being shipped out here. Up until my call with Thomas I'd been excited to tell everyone that I was staying but now I'm just feeling sad, nervous, insecure and vulnerable. I hadn't had a single doubt in my mind and any of the guys or my relationship with Bryan. Buts it's all changed. Thomas has gotten inside my head. I pass the chopped veggies to Mel with a sad smile and small sigh. Mel takes the veggies from me and then gives me the tell me look.

Sky: Mel, can I ask you a question?

Mel: You can ask me anything sweetheart.

Sky: Do you ever worry that a huge decision you've made is a mistake? Like you made it for all the wrong reasons.

Mel: Having doubts are normal if they are your doubts. But you'll never know for sure if the decision was a mistake unless you give it a chance. Is this about going back home?

Sky: Sort of. I just don't want to ruin everything and Thomas said so many vile things.

Mel: Is that why you've been crying?

I walk around the breakfast bar and take a seat, resting my elbows on the table and my chin in my hands. I know I can't repeat what Thomas said to me as I'm not about to relieve that whole ordeal but I need Mel's support.

Sky: My whole worlds just be flipped upside down Mel. I was supposed to have more time. To self prepare and to talk to the boys and now I'm up against the clock. I've just had to leave my management team in the UK. My whole social platforms are being turned public within the next 48hours. Oh and I decided a few weeks back to relocate to LA. So now I am going to be swarmed everyday by paparazzi wanting to know everything that's happening in my life, the boys and Bryan's. We will never be able to be just us. Two people in a relationship. It was never supposed to happen this way.

Mel: This is more to do with the other boys and Bryan than you? Your not worried about your career or the fact your relocating. You think the boys are going to leave you because your not going to be able to just hangout. Your all going to be in the public eye sweetheart the boys know what that's like already it's not going to be a surprise for them.

I nod. My eyes starting to fill with tears. My emotions are all over the place. The thought of anything changing shreds at my heart. Fuck you Thomas you've done this to me and I've fucking let you.

Sky: I don't think you know this Mel but I'm not at the same levels as the boys with my following. Across all my socials together I've just hit 62 million. I'm in the top 5% of global creators under the age of 25. When my accounts are made public I'm going to have the same amount of freedoms as Charli D'Amelio. Bryan and I won't be able to have secret dates just the two of us. Tyler, Chris and I won't be able to go for breakfast without a rumour being spread. Everyone is going to be watching me, my every move, decision, out look of life recorded.

Mel reaches across the island and takes my hands in hers. She smiles at me the type of warm contagious smile. I smile weakly in return. The understanding and care clearly shown in her eyes.

Mel: Everything is going to be fine, we just need to get you settled with the idea of change. Charli and Dixie still have fairly normal lives, you will too and Bryan he is smitten with you so don't you doubt for a second that he will leave or not understand. As for the other boys non of them would let something like this come between your friendships. Your family now Sky you need to start remembering that.

The tears I'd tried so hard to keep locked in side escape again and trickle down my face. Small sharp sobs escape my mouth as I let the emotions run through me.

Mel: Remember Sky this is your home now and you can stay here for however long you want. Let yourself be happy about moving out to LA don't let you old manager shit on that parade. Being here will give you so many more opportunities to improve your career. You have worked so hard in your young life and you deserve to let yourself enjoy the benefits of that graft.

Sky: I'm trying to Mel but I could still loose them all and I don't want them to stay a part of my life just because they feel like they have too. I don't want to loose them but if they aren't up for this level of intensity then I can walk away for their happiness.

Mel: Then you need to tell them what's happening and give them the choice. Only then will you have your answer.

Sky: I know Mel, I'll try and tell them tonight during dinner.