Problem Solving

"It is gay."

Lizzy's POV

I fidget. Like I have been doing for the past however many hours I've been awake.

I'm with Marina. I don't usually stay awake when I'm with her, she usually helps me sleep really soon. But right now it's like 3am and I just can't stop thinking. I can't even tell what about. All my thoughts feel like one huge insurmountable block.

I kinda sigh, gently playing with Marina's hair.

"Aren't you sleepy, darling?" I hear her soft British voice. Hearing her call me 'darling' is weird, but I really really love it.

"I can't really sleep.." I tell her, quietly. Then I kiss the top of her head because I can't resist.

"Well that's no good, is it.." she mumbles, getting off of me.

"What're you doing?" I ask her, she lays beside me rather than on me.

"Changing the position. Come on" she indicates for me to cuddle her. She's very cute.

"You think I'm a bottom or something?" I try to be tough.. even though all I wanna do is cuddle her and let her baby me.

"I know that you aren't.." I can tell she's smiling through her voice. I wish I could see her properly.. it's too dark to stare at her, which sucks. "But I think that you should let me give you some affection.. Who am I gonna tell you're being a softie to?"

"I'm not a softie.." I clarify, ironically just as I give in and get into position to cuddle her. I lie on her how she lays on me. It feels so good. "Okay this is nice.." I admit, then hold her tight "ugh you're so comfortable.." I lay my head on her boobs

"Mmh, I've wanted to do this to you for so so long.." she plays with my hair, but it isn't irritating and I don't want her to stop. "You don't always have to be on top.."

"It's usually you on top of me when we cuddle" I mumble into her chest, sleepily. "And I'm not a bottom.."

"I'm not saying you are.. and I didn't mean physically. I'm just telling you that you don't always have to be so tough" she kisses my head, instead of me kissing hers. It's nice to feel so loved...

well... I know we don't say it or even acknowledge it, but I also know what I feel from her. It's a lot.

I think about it a second. I'm very sure of what I feel.

"You know what.. This is gay." I say, accepting it.

"Don't be silly, we've got clothes on. And I'm British.." she tries to defend. I smile

"I don't think that matters anymore." I admit. I don't know why I do. Because it makes me feel vulnerable right after I've said it..

But a warm vulnerable. Pleasant, even.

"It doesn't?" She asks, I make a 'nu uh' noise "it's gay?"

"Yes it's gay" I laugh a little

"Gosh I'm so proud of you.." she holds me tightly "and you're not panicking?"

"No. Well, only about how much of a bottom I'm being" I half joke. I'm not lying though.

"You're silly, being cuddled doesn't make you vulnerable. You're meant to enjoy it" she tells me, stroking down my back and then pulling me further into her. I 'mmh'

"Yeah but I also enjoyed when you called me 'darling', that was definitely bottom behaviour."

"I don't think so" she laughs. I feel very comfortable. "You were meant to enjoy that too. How's it so wrong?"