Problem Solving

"simply return it"

Lana's POV  (at school)

I kissed her. More than once.. three times if we're being technical. Fuck me.. FML, as they said back in 2016.

It's not even the fact that it's her. It's the fact I kissed a girl. I'm not meant to feel like this, right? I never have before.. And it's so dumb to change my sexuality just for one girl.. isn't it?

Ugh. Fuck knows. I've been like this for the past two days. We kissed on Friday night and today is Monday. I have no idea how I'm gonna see Electra.

I just won't talk to her.... but I do want to.

I can't lie, every time I think about that kiss I.. well, I shouldn't encourage my feelings for her. But she certainly knows how to kiss, and how to make me crazy for her..

I think it was the way she held me that was what made it so hot.. No, what she did with her thumb, and how she looked at me.. and how her lips were so soft.. I wanted to bite one. I wanted her to touch me and tease me, and make me kiss her more so I could act like I didn't want more and maybe then I wouldn't feel so debilitatingly homosexual.

..Mmh, but I can't forget how she talked to me, and how good she........

well none of that matters. I kissed a girl so what? Doesn't mean I'm gay. We had clothes on.

Anyway. I make my way to my friends. They have no idea about me and Electra.. but, there isn't even anything to know.

"Hey Lana, you're early today" Blake smiles, I nod..

Blake's a guy. I'm meant to be attracted to him. Maybe I'll turn straight again.

"Yeah. Blake you'll kiss me right?" I ask, Ashley laughs 

"What's wrong with you?" She asks

"I need to kiss a boy" I frown. A guy near us turns around, I shake my head at him and he turns back around.

Ew. Men.

"Why you gotta kiss me?" Blake asks, looking confused.. he's cute. I'm not into him though.

"Science. So?" I ask

"Okay but-" I just kiss him. I may as well not be though because I feel absolutely nothing. I pull away and groan

"Never mind."

"What's going on Lana?" Alex strokes down my back "you're being off"

"It's.. complicated. So complicated." I see Blake looking behind me. Ashley looks behind me too.

Please don't be who I think it is.

"As if you weren't miserable enough, look who's here" Ashley teases.. ugh. I already know but turn nonetheless.

Electra. Walking into school with her friends. Looking just as perfect as Friday night, if not more perfect because I can't have her right now..

Have her, what do I even mean by that?

"She's... irrelevant" I lie.

"Ugh I want her so bad" for a second I think it's me whose said it out loud by accident then realise it's Blake.

Electra looks over at me for a second and does a cute smile then looks away. I know she won't come over or anything so I don't feel as nervous but then I remember I have English first period and I sit right next to her..

I'm so conflicted. I love smelling her perfume, and watching her apply her lipgloss to her perfect lips.. and I love nothing more than when she focuses on her work and looks so cute whilst she writes down her ideas, half biting her bottom lip in thought..