Don't be afraid

Chapter 26

I miss her.

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"We all are living in a dream but life ain't what it seems oh everything's a mess and all these sorrows I have seen they lead me to believe that everything's a mess" I sing softly through my tears to the song that relates to me most at this minute. Dream by Imagine Dragons.

Today was meant to be Vanessa's 17th birthday. But she's gone now.

I have a huge headache, but i didn't drink that much lastnight I don't think. I think I've drank more before, but I remember most of the night as I cried myself sober outside and then Luke came and joined me and then we talked and then we went back in the party but I don't remember anything after that.

I rush down the stairs as I want to see if my Mum and Dad have left to go to the cemetery to visit Vanessa's grave yet. As I get down the stairs I see that there is no one downstairs apart from me.

I did tell them to go, I told them that I'll go later on my own. It'll be even harder for me to go with anyone else to visit her grave.

I prefer to go on my own so I can just talk to her even though I get no response, she's still there in a way.

I grab my jacket and keys from where I put my handbag and pick them up, deciding to go and get some flowers for Vanessa. It's about half four now, so the shop will be shut soon.

I won't go and visit her grave until about 8 ish just so I don't bump into anyone hopefully.

I grab my house keys and shut the door behind me and lock it and make my way to the flower shop.

When I get to the flower shop I see a gorgeous pair of white orchids. I decide on getting her them as I know if she would still be alive to this day, then she would love them. Also, I wanted to get her a different kind of flower this time and I don't recall getting her orchids before.

"Can I help you Miss?" A woman speaks grabbing my attention.

"Uh, it's fine thanks" I assure her.

I look around at other kinds of flowers and decide on adding some Lily's and roses.

"Jess?" I hear and turn to see my cousin Faye.

"Faye!" I exclaim as she welcome's me in a hug.

"I'm so sorry I forgot to call you back" she groans, as we both pull away

"Oh don't worry, it's fine, how is Harry anyway?" I question.

She shrugs "I don't know to be honest, I feel as though he's hiding something from me however, we're fine"

"That's good, I guess?" I smile.

"I guess it is" she smiles and picks up a lavender tulip.

"Good choice" she speaks up pointing at the flowers in my hands.

"You think?"

"Yeah, I'm going to lay some at her grave today" she sighs.

"I think a few people are" I nod.

"Yeah, well that's bound to happen I mean, she was a popular girl" she smiles weakly.

"She sure was" I smile at the memory's of my sister as she had a lot of friends but always chose to come out and hang with my friends at times because she felt closer to them.

"I'm just going to pay for these, i'm sorry I have to get going, I have to go to visit her grave and then Harry is taking me out" she grins.

"Sounds nice" i remember how infatuated I was with Harry when I was about 13 going all the way up to 16 until I got with Sam.