A big book of small stories

Momceit Oneshot (Sanders Sides)

Happy Mother's Day! Though since I don't have a good relationship (if it can even be CALLED a relationship) with my mother, here's me projecting onto my comfort characters ahaha

Janus got out of bed, putting on his favourite robe and slippers. It was part of his Sunday tradition: robe, face mask and wine. For self care, of course. He was about to apply his face mask when he heard loud clanging from the kitchen. He let out a long, aggravated sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. He left his face mask behind and stormed into the kitchen.

"If you boys made a mess, I swear in the name of Liza Minnelli—" he growled as he entered, but was cut off from shock of the scene before him.

Flour. Flour had gotten everywhere. The counter, the floor, the sink, the top of the fridge... somehow. And baking tools were tossed about, covered in tiny chocolate hand prints. How two 3 inch tall children made a mess to this scale was beyond him.

Janus found one of the culprits, Remus, still in his little green onesie, which was stained with melted chocolate chips. Janus was about to go on a long tangent about Remus' uncanny ability to makes messes, when he realized he was missing his other adopted son. Virgil.

His eyes widened as he scoured the kitchen for him. He found Virgil, hanging off the ledge of the counter and kicking at air. Janus quickly rushed forward, cupping his hands beneath him. Virgil let go, falling into his cupped palms with a soft 'oof'.

Janus sighed in relief, clutching Virgil against his chest delicately. Once Virgil, and Janus himself for that matter, calmed down he set him next to his brother, crossing his arms and looking down at them sternly.

"Now, why in the world would you execute such a well thought out plan?" he hummed impatiently.

Remus dug his foot into the counter, suddenly very distracted by the stain on his onesie.

"Well we just wanted to surprise you for-for Mother's Day..." he said quietly, a rarity for Remus really.

Janus' eyes softened and he sighed quietly.

"Well I suppose I can forgive you for putting your lives at risk this one time," he started, and Remus and Virgil looked back up at him with a grin. "BUT! That doesn't mean I want this to become a regular occurrence. I don't want my boys getting hurt," he continued as he scooped them up into his hand.

He cupped them against his chest, keeping them safe and out of the way as he sprouted two new pairs of arms. He got to work, finishing the recipe Patton had leant them and placing the cookies in the oven. He then started to clean up, which thanks to his extra arms went by quickly. He finished before the cookies were even ready, tucking away his arms again. He brought Remus and Virgil away from his chest and to his eye level.

"Now you said you did this for Mother's Day, correct? I'm not a mother for obvious reasons, so why celebrate today and not Father's Day?"

"Well because Patton's already Logan and Roman's dad! So that makes you our mom!" Remus grinned.

"That sounds rather heteronormative, don't you think? Why can't we both be your dads?"

"Because you like to drink wine and read magazines!"

"Right because that's totally what constitutes a mother," Janus chuckled smoothly.

"It's also because..." Virgil started softly.

"Yes darling?" Janus encouraged quietly.

"It's also because you just... you love us in the way that—that moms love their kids."

Janus quirked a brow, not quite understanding what he meant.

"I—I mean you love us in... inlikeatenderlymotherwaybutIdontknowifthatmakessenseandnowitjustsoundsstupidand—"(in like a tenderly mother way but I don't know if that make sense and now it just sounds stupid and)

"Virgil, take a deep breath for me dear."

Virgil did so, taking a moment to calm down.

"I think that makes perfect sense and I'm very thankful you think that," Janus smiled softly. "I love you both dearly and, although I wish you had asked for help before trying to bake by yourselves, your intent was quite admirable."

Remus narrowed his eyes slightly, placing his hands on his hips comically. "Was that last part supposed to be sarcastic?"

"No, no Remus. I assure you both that was sincere," he chuckled as he brought them back to his chest in a makeshift hug, rubbing his thumb behind each of their backs.

He felt them lean into the touch and couldn't help the warm feeling in his chest. Ugh, he was beginning to sound like Patton.

"I love you too mama," he heard Virgil say.