A big book of small stories

A Gentleman Borrower (Our Flag Means Death)

Of course it's the gay pirate show that makes me come out of hiding

Stede Bonnet wanted to become a pirate. Ever since he was little—well, littler—he knew he wanted more than what life could offer him.

He was a borrower you see, and borrowers didn't often get far in life. But Stede wanted more than his monotonous routine of 'borrowing'. He wanted adventure! He did get enough trouble on land with humans and rodents sure, (and his wife, though he didn't fault her for it), but he wanted more. More than land. He wanted to be out on the ocean, traversing the seas in a mighty ship!

It was this insatiable desire for adventure that led him to the docks. He had left his wife and kids with enough supplies and food, more than enough really, and took a small sum with himself for his travels. He hid on an arch beneath the dock, and waited for a respectable pirate ship to come along, one that would be suitable for a gentleman such as he.

Within an hour, a massive black ship appeared on the horizon, its shape sticking out against the rising Sun. Stede grinned. It was perfect. As it docked on the port, Stede saw the flag that hung from the mast. It was an all black canvas that depicted a skeleton holding a spear to a heart. That was a pirate ship if he had ever seen one. He climbed through the cracks in the wood and made it to the top of the dock, diving out of the way as three pairs of black boots came pounding by suddenly. He hid behind a pile of rope and peeked out just enough to be able to see the three men.

They'd be terrifying to Stede even if he wasn't a mere four inches tall. They were big, burly men, with intense eyes. Even the middle one, who was much smaller in stature than the other two, had a commanding presence to him.

"Alright dogs," he barked at the two men. "Cap'n has no intention of waiting long, so off with you!"

The other two nodded and headed into the port market.

Stede swallowed. Maybe he was in over his head. Maybe his father was right, he was just a yellow bellied rich boy.

He shook his head. No, nonsense! He was a pirate. He had made it this far, after all. He squared his shoulders and headed for the ship.

When a shadow fell over him though, his blood ran cold. He dared not turn around. He heard the folding of leather and a giant knee slammed down beside him. He yelped and jumped inches into the air.

"Well well, what the hell have we got here?" he heard the man from before speak in a cocky tone.

Stede felt cold leather brush against him before being snatched up in a giant hand. His arms were pinned painfully to his sides, so all he could do was kick and squirm desperately. He couldn't even reach for his sword. The human lifted him up to eye level, scrutinizing him. Stede did a bit of scrutinizing himself. The man holding him him had tanned skin, salt and pepper hair that was kept slicked back, and a small X tattoo below the corner of his left eye. He had a snide air to him, too, and he was smirking proudly at Stede. He stroked an ungloved finger against his side, sending a shiver down his spine.

"My, aren't you a curious thing. The boss'll love you," the human drawled.

"R-release me!" Stede spat out.

"Ah, he speaks! You'll make a fine accessorry then."

He grinned at that. Then let go of Stede. He let out a shrill, high-pitched scream as he free falled, until the man caught him by the back of his fancy robe. He gagged as his collar choked him, and he kicked his legs some more. He heard the man laugh above him. Stede's ears burned, and he wasn't sure if it was more from anger or embarassment.

The human lifted him up by his collar like a kitten until their eyes met again.

"I-I must demand that you release me aT ONCE!" he tried again, only finding his voice at the end of his phrase.

The human only laughed at him. "And why the fuck would I do that?"

The man swore too much for Stedes liking. It was just ungentlemanly.

"Because..."

"Because I say knock it off, Izzy." A new voice. Commanding, and boisterous.

The man holding Stede, Izzy, looked at someone behind Stede. The man he feared so completely just a moment ago now looked like a scared, scolded puppy.

"But, Cap'n—"

"No ifs ands or buts! Now hand him over."

Izzy pouted—actually pouted—and handed Stede off to the new person. His hands were clad in fingerless leather gloves, and his fingers, strong and firm, had callouses at the knuckles. Stede would admit that the first thing he noticed, was how handsome the person was. His beard was long and flowy, black with streaks of grey. His hair was tied half up in a bun, framing his square face and set jaw.

Stede stared at him and he stared back. Despite being a pirate, and Izzy's superior, he didn't look all that scary. He looked kind, and almost soft.

"Hey sorry about that, mate," he said. His voice was gruff, but not unkind. "Izzy's a feisty little thing, you don't pay him any mind."

Izzy let out an offended noise, and Stede couldn't help but chortle. Then, the man holding him moved him closer to his face. Stede cut himself short as he stared at the man's eyes, now so close he could distinguish his black eyes from his pupils.

"Then again, so are you..." he trailed off.

"I-I'm terribly sorry if I caused you any trouble!" Stede sputtered. "You can... you can just send me on my way and..."

"Like we'd let you go, dog!" Izzy barked from behind, making Stede flinch. "Though, you're more like a rat, aren't ye?"

Stede swallowed. Please don't cry, please don't cry.

"Izzy," the bearded man warned, and Izzy was quiet once more. "Go find the others, and make yourself useful, hm?"

Stede heard silence, then the shuffling of receding footsteps. So, it was just him and the handsome pirate. Alone.

The handsome pirate looked back down at him, smiling under his beard. "You were saying you wanted me to send you on your way?"

Stede nodded wordlessly. The man shrugged, and crouched down on the dock, right beside the pile of rope that had served as Stede's hiding spot. Stede was usually terrified of humans while he was on the ground and they loomed over him, but, for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to be afraid of this one.

"Right then," he said. "Off you go little mate."

"...Pardon?" Stede didn't understand. The man—the pirate—was letting him go? Pirates didn't let people go, they kept hostages. Or made them walk the plank.

"I said 'right then, off you go little mate'. You do still want to go, yeah?"

"Well yes, but—no but—"

The man quirked a brow, and Stede cleared his throat, recomposing himself.

"Well, I was hoping to become a pirate. So, if you'd maybe be so kind, could you possibly drop me off at a...nother, pirate ship. One with no Iggy on board."

The man was silent for a moment and Stede took in how stupid that was of him. Any respectable borrower would've taken the chance to escape immediately!

"Well, yeah. I guess I could do that. You sure you don't want to stay here though? I mean, there aren't many pirates better than Blackbeard to learn fro—"

"You work for Blackbeard?" Stede gasped loudly. Even borrowers knew about Blackbeard, how could anyone not know about Blackbeard? He was the brutest, strongest, most famous pirate to ever live. Truly, the best of the best. And this pirate was offering to let Stede effing Bonnet stay on the same ship as Blackbeard!

"Huh, I guess you could say that," the man shrugged nonchalantly. "So, is that a yes?"

Stede nodded, too starstruck to speak. The man smiled and placed his leather-clad and calloused hand beside him. Stede stepped in graciously.

"Oh, I realized, I never asked you your name," he said as the man lifted him up and began to head back up the ramp and into the ship. Blackbeard's ship.

"I'm... Ed," he said, a smile in tone.

"I'm Stede," he replied, then added. "The Gentleman pirate."