Grown up kid

Happy birthday to me

"Wake up!" It's Two-Bit.
"Go away Two-Bit," I pick up a random pillow and throw it at him.
"Come on birthday girl, we partyin' tonight," He sits me up. The past two weeks had been awful, the headaches, nightmares, fatigue. But now the thought of partying and having fun. I was ecstatic.
"What day is it?" Soda asks.
"Friday genius," Steve says.
"We slept all through Thursday night. Holy," I stand up. For the first time my body doesn't hurt or sting or feel like collapsing when I stand.
"We was gonna wake up last night but Pony told us not to," Two-Bit sits next to me and turns on Mickey Mouse.
"It shocks me everyday you love mickey mouse when you're literally a criminal."
"Everyone got a soft side," Steve says, getting the cake from the icebox.
"Watch it Randell."
"Watch it Keith," Two-Bit stands from the couch and runs after Steve. Steve bolts out the front door, piece of cake still in hand. I turn and look out the window behind me. Two-Bit has Steve tackled on the grass. Steve has the cake smeared all over his face.
"He got em good," Soda says.
I push the curtains back and stand, confident at how strong my legs are. No one notices but I smile and continue.
I grab a plate with a slice of cake on it and sit down around the table with Soda and Pony. We eat together. Steve and Two-Bit return from outside eventually and we sit around the T.V. eating our morning cake.
"Happy birthday kid," Darry messes up my hair.
"Thanks Dar," I say. I look up at him, his ice cold eyes softer than I had ever seen them.  I smile and he pushes my head aside.
"Love you," It hit me that I hadn't heard those words from him in so long. I shut my eyes, closing tight to hold in the tears. I excuse myself to the bathroom. Darry can't see me cry. I'm already the baby. I don't wanna ruin the moment. I look in the mirror, somehow a girl just like me, just slightly different looks back at me. A case of me.
"Hey, Aidy you good in there. I'm about to head to Johnny's. Wanna come?" Ponybody knocks on the door.
"Yeah. Give me a minute," I fix my hair and open the door. Everyone turns to me.
"Were you crying?" Steve asks.
"No."
"Are we walking Pony?"
"Yeah," He says. His voice changes but I walk to the door before he can ask.
"I'll be waiting outside."
"Aidy, were you crying in there? I won't tell Darry or any of the gang."
"Yeah," I walk faster to get a lead on Pony.
"Why?" He puts his hand on my shoulder and I slow again.
"It's dumb."
"What was it, Aidy?"
"When Darry told me he loved me I realized he hadn't said that in a while. I told you it's dumb."
"Aidy that ain't dumb."
"It is and you don't have to pretend it's not."
I walk faster to avoid Pony. I hate having people see me cry. Soda cries in front of people all the time. I don't know how he does it. The attention makes me freak out. Which is another reason being home has sucked. I'm fine now. Yeah I'm scarred up pretty bad but I don't hurt as much anymore.
"Aidy!" Johnny calls.
"There he is, Johnny Cade."
"Pony coming?"
"He's behind me. Should be along soon."
"Happy birthday. Finally fourteen now kid," Johnny smiles. His eyes that used to be always filled with fear and sadness have been happier now. Though he can't walk he's finally out of his bad home and he realized the beauty of life. I have no idea what I would have done without Johnny. He's basically a fourth brother to me. Me and Two-Bit are close too but never as close as me and Johnny. Darry would have taken him in but we don't have the money or space.
Me and Johnny sit in his room and talk. Ever since school went back I haven't been able to see him as much.
"Johnny, I wish you could live with us," I confess.
"Me too. But I still consider you guys family. You've always been like a sister and the gang have always been my brothers. I don't need a piece of paper to prove that."
"I know but we barely get to see each other now that you aren't in school. And after all the things with the Socs Darry has me basically on house arrest."
"At least you are home and not sleeping in an abandoned church with no heat or good food."
"An abandoned church sounds cool. No Darry to tell me what to do."
"It's not that amazing kid. We just sat on cold floors reading Gone With the Wind and eating bologna sandwiches."
"Ew."
"I know. But Pony had to cut and bleach his hair and that was funny. Got some good pictures out of that."
"Don't be telling her about that," Pony comes in carrying a tray with three plates on it.
"Show me Johnny, please."
Pony looks at Johnny, "Don't you dare Johnnycake."
"What if I do dare Ponyboy?"
"I don't remember your hair like that. I wanna see. It can't be that bad. It'd be nice to see another blonde for once," I say.
"Okay fine. But only em' nice ones Johnny. Aidy don't need to see them other ones."
Johnny grabs a box and opens the lid. He shuffles through the stacks of photos and pulls some out as he goes. He leans forward and hands them to me. There I see Ponyboy with his orangey-blonde hair slicked back like usual. I hold back a laugh with all I have. I press my lips together to hold in a smile. "Ya look nice Pony."
Pony turns away from us to get the plates ready. "Johnny made me do it. I didn't wanna do that to my hair you know."
Before I could stop myself I was laughing. I handed Johnny back the photos before I could find anything else funny about them.
"Here," Pony hands me a plate. He seems mad.
"Ey, Pony we were just messing around. Are you mad at me?"
"No, it's fine," He hands a plate to Johnny.
"Come on Ponyboy. I'm sorry. You look fine. I didn't mean to laugh. I've seen far worse hair."
"Aidy it's fine," He takes the last plate and sits on the floor.
"You ain't mad at Aidy now are you Pony? I told her about them. I gave her the photos. Be mad at me," Johnny pleads between bites. His eyes so gentle and caring as he looks at me.
I open the screen door to the house and look through the window to the dark house. Two-Bit said we'd have a party but it seems empty. I wouldn't be surprised. Year of my ninth birthday everyone forgot, except mom. I miss her so much. She listened to me complain about school and the Socs taking over the playground at recess. Life has changed so much now. I'd do anything to go back to then, just for a little bit.
I open the door, and turn on the living room lights. Pony follows behind me.
"Where'd they go Pony?"
As I kick off my shoes I see motion in the kitchen. "We're right here!" The light flickers on and Two-Bit springs up. "It's your fourteenth birthday kiddo!" He picks me up and swirls me around. "You're gettin' too big to swirl now."
"Put her down Two-Bit," Darry says. The room goes back to quiet and Two-Bit slows down and returns me to my feet.
"Darry I'm fine. It's been almost three weeks by now. I don't hurt anymore. I'm fine."
Darry doesn't respond, he just returns into the kitchen and brings out another cake. This one is store bought. It hs white frosting with pink and yellow letters that spell out "Addy's 14th birthday."
"They spelt your name wrong."
"Wouldn't be a birthday without it. It's tradition," Soda says.
"Soda!" I run over and hug him. Though it was just this morning I saw him it seemed like forever ago.  He wraps his arms around me tight and holds me there against him. His warm body heating mine.
The gang starts singing happy birthday and I stand in the middle of them, turning to see all of them. I finish my rotation and face Darry. "Thank you." I mouth to him.
"Make a wish," He moves the cake toward me and I blow out the fourteen candles on top.
Two-Bit wraps his arms around me and lifts me up again. He passes me to Soda who holds me upside down. "Kid, you're almost as tall as me!" I pull myself up and I'm sitting on his shoulder. I slide down.
"No kiddin' Soda," I stand next to him, pushing my head up to seem taller.
"What's Darry feeding you?" Steve asks.
"Dad's genes," Pony says.
"Huh?" Steve replies.
"We get our height from dad," I realize Pony's been quieter than he usually is.
"Ay, Pony you alright?" I mess his hair up and push him like Darry did to me earlier.
"Yeah, fine," He opens the door and goes outside onto the porch, to watch the sunset.
"Okay," I shrug and sit at the table.
"Someone go get Johnny, he can't miss this," I say, picking the candles out of the frosting.
"I'll go get em'," Two-Bit slides across the kitchen floor and pulls on his shoes. "I'm taking Darry's car."
"The heck you're not," Darry grabs his keys and goes to his car before Two-Bit can hijack it.
We pile into the tiny truck. Soda, Pony, and Darry sit in the cab part of the truck and me, Steve, Two-Bit, and Dally sit in the truck bed.
"Hold on tight," Two-Bit uses his arm as a make-shift seat belt for me. "Yahoo!" He yelps as the truck starts rolling.
We ride along the bumpy back roads to avoid the fuzz. Dally can't be arrested again tonight, on my birthday.
Some time later we arrive at Dally's house and see Johnny sitting quietly on the porch, "Johnnycake!" Dally yells. Johnny somehow turned Dally's stone heart to a real one.
"Dallas!" Johnny yells back.
"Come kid we're gonna party! Taking Johnny to the Curtis's we'll be back by midnight," He calls into the house.
"Happy birthday Aidy!" Mrs. Winston calls out to me, ignoring her son. "Careful with him." Mrs. Winston was a short woman with a temper bigger than herself. She was stone-hearted and cold like her son but just as with Dally, Johnny turned her heart to mush. She made good meals and cared for Johnny when she wasn't working.
"Thank you Jean!" I holler back to her before she returns into the home.
Dally wheels Johnny over to the truck and lifts him into the cab and takes Pony's seat. Dally slides in next to him and I see their mouths move quickly in conversation. Soda and Pony jump onto the bed and sit on either side of me and hold me tightly. Steve sits quietly next to Two-Bit who still is glaring at him for the "Keith" situation.
"Let's go!" Two-Bit finally breaks his deadly glaring and smiles. "Let's party!"
"Yeah!" Soda adds in. From within the truck and out here whoops and hollers erupt and we yell in
excitement all the way back home.
I wake up the next morning still tired and groggy. My head hurts and my tongue feels like I decided to eat a desert. I'm in my own bed and only Pony lays in his and Soda's bed.
"Where's Soda?" It's an early saturday morning and I thought he had the day off. "Pony," I throw my pillow at him and he jerks awake. "Where'd Soda go?"
"Never came to bed last night," He rolls over and groans. "Probably went out after the party or something."
I get up and peak out the door and try to see into the dim living room. Two silhouettes slump on the couch together. I walk out, careful not to squeak the loose board. My eyes adjust to darkness and I see Soda and Steve flopped over on the old couch. Two-Bit lie on the floor around the corner. Dally and Johnny must have made it home once I went to bed.
I could hear Darry's snores in the kitchen as I grabbed a large glass and over flowed it with nice cold water. I gulped down the water, refilling it time and time again. The water just barely quenching my thirst.
"Ay!" Darry is startled to see me standing in the kitchen. "Morning kid." He looks in the fridge. "Eggs and toast?" I nod and he pulls out what he needs from the fridge.
The loud clanks of the metal pots and pans wakes Soda and Steve but Two-Bit remains unfazed and asleep on the floor.
"Morning kiddo," Soda peers outside to see if the sun had risen yet. It made golden streaks into the sky as it rose from its slumber.
"Morning," I lay my head down on the table and close my eyes. I listen to Darry and Soda talk. Someone goes outside. Metal clammers and voices shout.
I wake to the sound of a plate being set down by my head. "Go back to bed," Darry says. "It's saturday. Sleep in."
I return to my room and fall asleep in my warm bed. My dreams return now. I dream of a sunflower field. I lay in the center of tall sunflowers shaped into a circle. It's so warm and so, so bright.
It's warm.
And bright.
And quiet.
For now I never want to wake. I want to lay in the circle of flowers for eternity because in this small circle it is just me, no Socs, no school, nothing. Just the warmth of the beaming sun.

I finally bring myself to wake up and now the sun is beaming fully through the now open window. The room is somewhat tidy and Pony sits smirking on his bed (which if I'm being totally honest it made me scream.)
"Oh my god Pony!" I scream.
"What?" He drops the smirk and looks at me.
"Don't stare at me sleeping!" I sit up and look at him.
"Sorry."
"It's fine, just very creepy."
"I was waiting for you to wake up."
"I can tell."
"I was going to ask you to come with me to Johnny's," He says.
"Let me get ready," he nods and walks out of the room. I go to the clothes pile beside my bed and get jeans and white shirt. I comb out my hair and pin up the sides to keep it from my face. "I'm ready," I walk into the kitchen to see the whole gang sitting around in different places. "What's going on?"
"It's Johnny," Darry says.
"What happened?" I scan their faces for a clue.