Grown up kid

Walk

Once Michael and I woke up from our nap the sun was setting and the town had settled in for the night. "Morning," I open my eyes a bit to see Michael smiling. He looked like he'd been awake for a bit.
"What time is it?" I ask. He rubs my back before checking his watch.
"Six thirty," He sets his arm back down and now places it on my arm.
"I should head home."
"You could stay the night. I already asked my mom while you were asleep. She'd be happy to have you over for the night," God his smile so cute. I bury my face into his side to hide any embarrassment that might come from that previous thought.
"I can ask Darry."
"Okay," It's like he was never sad. He smiles even bigger and I stand up and stretch. He just lays on his bed, his fingers laced behind his head. That stupid smirk on his face.
I go into the kitchen and see his mom making dinner. "Hey Aidy," She smiles quickly.
"Hi Mrs. Miller," I reach for the phone. I hadn't talked much with his mother. She looked lovely and put together.
"Call me Marie. Mrs. Miller is too formal," She smiled again. Michael got his smile from her.
"Hello Marie." I dial into the phone. "Darry? Hey it's Aidy. Could I stay at Michaels tonight. His mom is home," Marie shouts hello for proof. "It's a Saturday."
Darry says yes and I hold in a squeal. I head back to Michaels room. He was still out stretched on his too-small-to-fit-most-of-him bed. His legs practically dangled off the end and his head was pressed against the wall. It was hard not to laugh at him.
"Darry said yes," He smiled again. Something about that smile. "I should go home to get my things. Soda can pick me up and bring me back," I run my finger along the metal of his bed frame. It was cold and delicate. Definitely a hand-me-down from his mother or grandmother.
"You could borrow one of Anna's things for tonight. She wouldn't mind," I found myself longing for him to say 'Or one of my things' but the words never came. I wanted to be surrounded by his scent. His cologne was my favorite.
"Come lay back down," He says with a pause.
"Your mom is making dinner. Maybe we could do something before?" I rock from the ball of my feet to my heels. I suddenly felt nervous asking my boyfriend to hang out. This energy hung in the room and needed to get out of the house.
"Wanna go for a walk?"
"No," I take a deep breath. "No, thank you. Sorry."
"No I'm sorry for suggesting. How about we," He sits up and puts his hand on mine that had been playing with the bed frame this whole time. "Is something up?" I felt nervous and clammy suddenly. I felt like the oxygen was suffocating me. I try to say I'm fine but the words get stuck in the center of my throat.
"Aidy?" He gets this new tone to his voice, panic. He grabs my hands and I look away to the floor. The air gets thicker and it's like I'm dying all over again. "Aidy? Hey hey," He pulls me forward gently. "Aidy what's going on."
No matter how hard I push the words up my throat they kept getting stuck before I could let them out. I felt panicky and like at any second the walls would come down on me.
"Aidy," I manage to gain control over my hands and I squeeze his hands tight. Tears well up in my eyes and so much is happening at once. All so much and I couldn't do a single thing.
"Help," One of the words breaks free from my throat. The tears had no trouble coming free and started flowing quickly down my cheeks. By now I was frozen. I hadn't yet cried in front of Michael. Now didn't seem so convenient.
"Anna!" He looks to his door where, I'm assuming, Anna appeared. "When you have a panic attack what do you do?"
"I think about something else. Usually the book I'm reading. Why?" Her voice is gentle and calm unlike her brothers.
"We have a situation," He says it like I'm a time bomb just seconds from exploding, killing all of Tulsa.
I hear Anna's footsteps come closer and she comes around and now we're face to face. "Okay," She takes my hands from Michael which I must say was sort of weird. "Focus on your breathing." She took a deep breath in and I tried to mimic it but no air would fill my lungs. I tried again and it felt like I was dying. That feeling only made this worse. After a few tries I got a little air. I tried again and slowly more air filled my lungs and it felt so clean and crisp. Like I had never experienced this air before.
"You got this," She says.
"Aidy," Once my breathing finally corrects itself Michael pulls me into him and I hold onto him tighter than I'd ever hugged anyone. "Hey you're okay. See you're okay," He strokes my hair. "You're okay."
"Kids, dinner!" Well at least I filled the time.