Lonely

Twenty-Seven

"How's your day been going Ms. Wright?"

Mona sat in front of her psychiatrist Dr. Jones before she decided to take the next flight out for a much needed trip.

"I'm not ok I know that," Mona spoke low.

"Tell me how your medication is working out for you. Do you feel like your mood has improved while being on it?" He wondered.

"Not really, I still get really sad, but I do take my medicine every day,"  Mona added.

Dr. Jones nodded his head as he took notes.   "I was looking through your file and over the course of our therapy sessions, I've noticed that you've endured quite of a bit of loss," he brought up.

"Yes I am," Mona's voice cracked.

Dr. Jones nodded. "How does that make you feel?"

"It doesn't make me feel good at all. I feel like God keeps punishing me when all I've ever done was be a blessing to others and I keep dealing with loss. It started with my brother getting hit by an 18 wheeler, then my best friend Sade, then I loss my first child when I was eight weeks pregnant, and now my one year old miracle son is missing and possibly dead as well. So Imagine how I feel. All I can think about is how my life has been a living hell for me. I wouldn't wish this type of pain on my worst enemy not even the person or people responsible for Avery's disappearance. I just want my baby and I want to live happily," Mona expressed with tears streaming down her face.

"I am so sorry Ms. Wright that you've had to endure all of this when you should be in your prime and enjoying life. Unfortunately, we don't have an answer to why some things happen, but we can try to get through things in a healthy way that way depression doesn't dwell over your life forever," Dr. Jones remarked.

"I don't know how to be anything but sad. Literally everything I ever wanted has been taken away from me. Sometimes I just wish that God will just let me go ahead and die in my sleep or something. I get tired of waking up every day and I don't have my son. The private investigator that me and his father hired basically gave up on us and I'm supposed to be okay with that? I'm just supposed to be okay with knowing that my son is out there dead?" Mona inquired.

Mona took a minute and wiped her tears with some of the Kleenex that separated her from Mr. Jones.

"I want to ask you a question Ms. Wright and you know that you can always be honest here because this is a safe place. But, if you don't ever get the answers you're needing, do you think it's possible to move on with life in a healthy and safe way?" He questioned.

"I honestly can't answer that right now. I don't even want to think about it," Mona cried.

Dr. Jones nodded more as he took more notes about Mona's behavior and responses.

"I want to go over with you some of the grieving stages once again, so that we can make sure that we are on the path of grieving in a healthy way Ms. Wright. I will give you some time to collect yourself while I print out these forms that I want you to look along with me," he added.

Mona nodded as she wiped away her tears. She gently blowed her nose before tossing the Kleenex in the trash that wasn't that far away.

"So the grieving stages are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. It is possible to experience all five and then often times people can only experience some stages. Which one do you think you've been through or may be going through right now?" Dr. Jones wondered.

"Definitely Anger," Mona sniffed.

"Oh absolutely! What's made you angry Ms. Wright?" Dr. Jones scoffed.