Lonely

Nineteen- BLM part 2

*I do not own any rights to the media used in the MM.

Meghan took a bow as she looked out into the crowd blown away by the standing ovation she received from her spoken word piece. Tears of...anger? happiness? joy? oppression? stress? She couldn't put a name to her tears, but she wanted to make sure that her voice was heard.

James whistled from the crowd gaining her attention. Meghan stepped down the from the stage and approached him. They haven't spoke since her birthday which was a few weeks ago.

"Hey" she smiled.

James smile softly and wiped her tears and pulled Meghan into a hug. "You did beautiful" he spoke in her ear.

Oh how she missed his embrace. She felt like putty in his arms as his cologne engulfed her being. She could have him right here right now if she had things her way. After all, she needed something to escape the reality they were in.

"How you been?" he wondered as he pulled away from the hug.

"I'm not okay, but we'll get there," she uttered.

James nodded his head in understanding.

"You?"

"Same here...want to go to the bar for some drinks?"

"Sure," Meghan smiled.

The two of them took a seat at the open bar as the next spoken word artist took the stage.

"Let me get a shot of Hennessy and whatever she wants," James told the bartender.

Meghan ordered and looked over at James with a small smile.

"I missed you," she confessed.

"I missed you too Meghan... not gone lie," James remarked.

"Yeah okay," Meghan laughed. "You stormed out my house on my birthday like you didn't wanna fuck with me anymore"

"I was in my feelings," he laughed.

"You still in them or you not fucking with me still?" Meghan wondered.

James raised his brows and shrugged as he laughed. He then proceeded to take his shot.

"Oh okay," she laughed.

"Nah foreal though... We good. I'm sorry the way I left your birthday. I'm ok with not being enough for you," James shrugged.

"I never said you weren't enough James. I just suggested that you seek counseling before jumping into a relationship with me that's all. I don't see what's wrong with that," Meghan expressed as she sipped on her drink.

"You said I had baggage that's the part you had me fucked up at. I got mad about that so that's why I left. For you to be my best friend and to say some shit like that kind of made me feel like you're just trying to shape me into this perfect nigga for you which I'm never going to be," James added.

"I'm sorry James. I never meant to hurt you in any way possible. I do love you and I miss you. I didn't think that I would fall for you the way that I did but I did. I want to be with you I do I just wanted to make sure that you were doing the work within yourself. I busted wanted two wholes to come together," Meghan explained.

James grabbed her face kissing her sweetly before he pulled away.

"I hear what you're saying Meghan and with all do respect I love you too, but I'm not going to let anybody tell me that don't want me more than once. We can remain friends if you want but I'm doing what I need to do in my life and I'm elevating myself it just sucks that you judged me before I could show you how good of a man I could be to you," James stated.

Meghan's heart broke as she nodded.

"I understand and respect your decision James and I don't love you any less for it. I just wanted to make sure you knew I was sorry for what I said," she added. "And I would love to continue our friendship I hope that it hasn't been tainted now"

James shook his head. "We're good... trust me. I can take my feelings out of it can you?

Meghan looked at him and then took a longer sip. "Yeah with time I believe I can"

James nodded as he ordered him another drink.

"I have something to tell you!"

Meghan looked over anticipating what he was going to tell.

"I reached out to my dad on Facebook again and we met up. I told him about how I felt about everything. He came and marched with me earlier today and we're going to be building a relationship now," he confessed.

Meghan's eyes lit up.

"Oh my God that is so fucking amazing Jay. I absolutely love that and I am so proud of you," she remarked.

"Thank you," James smiled.

"Another round...on me," Meghan stated. "We bout to turn up!"

James laughed. "Did you go out there and march?"

"Hell yeah I went out there and marched! Hot, sweaty, and tired" she laughed.

"That's what's up Meghan. I wonder if M- mhm" James sipped his drink.

"You wonder if Mona was out there?" Meghan wondered.

"Yeah..." he spoke low.

"You miss her sometimes? You can be honest with me," Meghan stated.

"I won't say I necessarily miss her, but I definitely think about her and wonder what she's up to from time to time" James said.

"I get that," Meg nodded.

James took a look at his phone and realized that Mona had texted him back about an hour ago.

•hey no I didn't go out there today but I plan to protest sometime this weekend...you?•

James responded.

-That's what's up... let me know if you decide to walk this weekend id love to catch up and walk with you if dats cool..-

Mona responded after she got settled into the hotel room.

•okay I'll let you kno•

James hit the like button on her message and looked up at Meghan who was downing the rest of her drink.

"Damn girl.." he chuckled.

Meghan chuckled. "I'm about to get out of here I read on social media that it's going to get bad downtown tonight. I hope not."

"Damn I hope not either... I'm bout to go with you," James added.

"Mmhm," she laughed.

"I bet you won't be talking shit when I beat you in that madden," James laughed.

Meghan hopped off her chair and head to the door as James followed in tow.

"If I win you have to do whatever I say," she winked.

"Oooh whatever?" He laughed.

"Yup!"

"Fuck if you win!" James spoke boldly.