Lonely

Thirty-Five

"I'm so nervous," James paced back and forth in his hotel room. He had decided to cancel his flight earlier in the week so that he and Mona could get married. Tonight they were going to tell her parents.

"It's going to be okay," Mona remarked.

"The last time I spoke to your parents they basically made me feel like a was a bum off the scum of the earth," James continued.

Mona got up from her seat and grabbed his face. "They don't have a choice but to like you! I won't let them disrespect you period. You're my husband now!"

James smiled softly as he nodded. "I can get used to hearing that,"

"Oh yeah?" Mona smirked and softly pecked his lips.

James took a seat and a moment to breathe.

"James... there's something I want to talk to you about that I should've before we actually went through with this marriage," Mona remarked.

James glared at her and nodded. "Do I need to sit for this?"

"Maybe," she spoke low.

James took a seat on the hotel bed and awaited for her to present him with whatever she wanted to talk about.

"I Umm... I don't want to have children anymore. I'm okay of course with being Joy's stepmom, but I don't..."Mona sighed and continued. "I don't want anymore. I've had a miscarriage the first time with you. Then I actually lost our son we were blessed with. I can't stand to lose another kid. I don't even want to go through the pregnancy process and stuff anymore."

James nodded his head as he swallowed the hard pill.

"How do you feel about that?" Mona spoke low as she played with her hands.

"Sad...but I get it," James spoke low.

"I'm sorry," Mona voice cracked.

James nodded. He wanted a family with her but always wanted to keep her happy. He knew he had a kid on the way with Meghan, but he still wanted a family with his wife. It was something he always hoped for and now he may never get it.

"I understand if you don't want me anymore I should've said something earlier this week. I ju-I was caught up in the moment I guess," Mona remarked.

"Mo...you're in your thirties...
If you so happen to change your mind when you get your mid and late thirties you don't think that's risky? Shouldn't we try now?" James questioned as he stared up at her.

"I just don't want to have a kid just to make up for "Avery" you know? I don't know if I have it in me..." Mona shook her head.

"But I want a family with you Mo,"
James spoke with sadness in his voice. "You're my wife!"

This made her frown.

"I know I just...maybe we can adopt in a few years?," Mona suggested.

James chuckled and stood up from the bed and headed toward the door.

"Where you going?" Mona wondered.

"I need to go smoke a cigarette," he blurted.

"No... no you're not. And by the way, you're going to rehab because my husband is not going to die early on me because he's a coke addict," Mona uttered as she stood in front of the door.

"Mo I told you that it was socially. Im not addicted. I'm not going to do that anymore I'm done with it," he sighed.

"Prove it," Mona stated.

"If I go to rehab will you rethink having a family within the first year of marriage?" James proposed.

"Yes... you have a deal!" Mona nodded.