The Challenge: Double Agents

The Best of Enemies

We just arrived back at the house from Gabby's elimination and my mind is already working to get me back in the good graces of Big T after all of the moves I made to get Kam. I realized during the last elimination that I need to get a new partner because while Kam is nice to have for numbers, we do not work well together and I think both of us know that. I have been beating myself up for how I treated Big T after I switched partners and I need to make it up to her. Kyle and I have had our differences and I know I will need to make it up to him outside of this game so my focus is on Big T.

Talking with everyone in the house, I have come to realize that Aneesa and Kyle are the two Gold Skulls everyone wants to go after. I wouldn't mind going against Kyle, but I want to make sure that Aneesa is safe until the final so I can make sure she makes a final. I know how bad she wants to make it. The next morning, before the daily mission even begins, Cory pitches to Leroy, Darrell, and I that he wants to be the house vote and I can tell that the other two are not buying it. I feel bad because I know Cory really wants to get his Gold Skull and the other guys are trying to deny him of that chance.

My goal is to make sure that Cory gets that opportunity to go into the Crater and get his Gold Skull by any means necessary and I start analyzing who is Cory's best chance at winning the elimination. Fessy is out of the picture because physically, Fessy is the strongest guy available. Leroy never fucking loses and even if he is available for Cory to go against, Leroy is a scary guy to go against in an elimination. That leaves the options between Kyle and Darrell because no one is going to vote Kam and I in.

Kyle is a lot stronger than people think he is and he is on the same level as Cory in terms of puzzles, which is not great at all. Darrell is an interesting prospect for Cory because Darrell has not really had time to prove to anyone whether he is good or not. Amber would be devastated to lose Darrell since he has been her partner since the beginning, but thinking back on his elimination win, I am not so sure if Darrell can win this season. I love Darrell and getting to know him on a deeper level has been amazing, but he is not in the same shape he was in at the beginning of his career.

I decide that since we are not competing today, I am going to work on my album that Nikki has told me to work on while I am here. So far, I have 11 songs completely finished and ready to produce once I leave here and land in Atlanta. After talking with her a couple of days ago, we decided that the second I lose or win the final, I am flying immediately to Atlanta to record my album and prepare for filming. If I won the final, I would have 3 weeks before everyone else gets there to start bonding before filming begins a week later.

The songs I chose are songs I have already performed before, whether they were in London, Toronto, NYC, LA, or on here. I figured since I wrote the songs and the whole album is supposed to be a reflection of how I feel, I might as well do the songs I have written already because they were about my feelings in the moment. It includes the diss track I wrote about Jay, a song I wrote about Christian when I thought he cheated on me, and a song I wrote in the Big Brother house. I decide that my last two songs will involve rapping. One was the song I sang in my audition and the other one is what I am working on now.

As I am writing, the siren for the daily missions goes off and I decide to finish the song after the daily mission. I am nervous about the daily mission today because I am not sure if Kam and I are going to work together well or not. We arrive at the daily mission and we are told that we are diving and swimming between two tectonic plates and then solving a puzzle. However, if either one of us goes up for water too early, we are automatically disqualified. TJ also says that Kaycee and Leroy are choosing the order and I know they are not going to screw us over. 

Kyle and Aneesa are chosen to go first and they are not pleased at all about being chosen first. I am worried even more because I know both of them and they both thrive when they feel like they are underestimated. We don't know how well everyone will be doing because we are going one pair at a time. They both come back from the challenge and it looks like they did well. Big T and Cory do not since they go to the challenge and come back right away. I decide to use this time to talk with Big T to make amends for everything I have done to her. I know this might not be the most ideal time to do so, but I need to do this for my own sanity.