Always been you

2020 (37)

Camila's POV

I didn't want to laugh at him, but he was looking at me with so much disbelief in his eyes that it was cute.

"Shawn", I call him and his gaze is fixed on my mouth.

"Yeah?", he asks me.

"Can we kiss?", I say tilting my head.

"Uh... sure", he answers and I chuckle again.

I don't waste time because this feeling in my chest has been growing and growing for a while now and I can finally embrace it. I cup his cheek with my hand and brush my thumb over his face before leaning to kiss him. I rest my lips on top of his very lightly. Our noses caress each other and I feel when he takes a deep breath in.

He lets go of me slowly and his eyes are big under the dim light of the room.

"Wait", he murmurs quickly and glances down, like he was looking for something.

"Everything ok?", I say and try to catch his eye again.

He's silent while he takes a few breaths and looks around the room before landing his eyes back on me. Something seems to sparkle behind his eyes and a big smile crosses his face now.

"Everything is great", he says and cups my face with both hands, kissing me again.

He's more eager this time and I savored his lips on mine, remembering how good this felt years ago. It's like nothing had changed. He knows how to kiss me. He knows how much pressure to apply and in what direction to go. We've memorized each other. He always made me feel good with his kisses, but now there's also something buzzing in my lower belly and we're not even moving further. His tongue feels warm and wet in my mouth and I welcome it gladly. My hands were resting on my lap but now one is on the bed, trying to keep me steady while the other roams around his tone abdomen. He was slim and athletic when we were younger, but he didn't have the arms he has now and I'm over the moon when he uses them to lay me on the bed.

"I missed you", he moans softly and goes back to kissing me again.

His whisper sounds husky and deep, like he had been saving those words for too long. Something in my stomach flips thinking how he felt this way all these last years and I wasn't aware of it. Yes, I missed him too, but I never thought twice about his real feelings.

I wrap my arms around his broad shoulders, keeping us as close as possible. Now that we're back enjoying each other, I don't want to be anywhere else.

His body is hot and heavy over me and it's feels so familiar that my throat tightens. I breath through my nose, trying to hold back the emotions that are colliding inside of me.

"Are you ok? Are you sure about this?", Shawn asks me when he notices a change on my breathing. He is looking down at me with worried, scared eyes. He seems like he was prepared for the worst.

"I'm fine", I whisper and smile. "I'm just happy".

He blushes and puts our foreheads together until we breath in sync and we kiss again. I don't want to do anything else but kiss him now. Nothing is rushing us, no one is waiting for us, at least for tonight. I can spend all night just kissing the boy that made me feel the safetest when I was at my lowest. We lay on our side, still facing each other, and our arms and legs are somehow tangled. We pull back slowly but don't lose the eye contact.

"What changed?", he asks me barely in a whisper. I can see he's afraid of making that question.

"Nothing", I reply. "You were always you... I guess I opened my eyes now. I was too caught up with my own shit before and I couldn't see it".