Always been you

2020 (41)

Nothing had changed about my room, not even after I left for college and my dad had threatened with turning it into his cave or something like that. He wasn't serious. It's both comforting and weird. It's like time had frozen inside and for a second I could pretend that everything was fine and I was just a 17 year old who had all his friends by his side and hadn't experienced a life changing car accident. I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. Does Camila feel the same way I do about this? Is her room the same as before?

[S: How's it going?]

I text her and put the phone down in my chest while I continue staring at the ceiling. I did that for several days once I was home from the hospital. Just stare and try to make sense of what had happened. I never could though. Somewhere in my brain, the idea that Luke or Jess would call and tell me to meet them somewhere still feels too real and plausible.

[C: Good but it's weird to be back]

Coming here was her idea, but I was selfishly rooting for it and did everything I could to make sure she wouldn't back down. Now I don't know if that was a good thing. I am overwhelmed every I come here. I can only imagine how she feels after so many years.

[S: We can go back whenever you want], I offer.

[C: We just got here lol I can stay 24 hours at least]

[S: Ok, just saying]

[C: How are you?]

[S: Fine, just laying in my bed. You?]

[C: I'm watching a movie in the living room. I can't stay in my room]

[S: Why not? Is it different?]

[C: No, it's just the same. Feels weird that nothing has changed]

[S: Same here]

[C: It makes sense tho. We never remodeled them]

[S: Yeah, but I never felt the need to remodel before]

[C: And it seems pointless now]

[S: You're right]

[C: Look at us agreeing on something haha]

[S: Some things do change ;)]

[C: I guess they do]

[S: My mom is baking cookies and her cookies don't change]

[C: Gosh I love those cookies, I hope they never change]

[S: Come over then]

[C: Really?]

[S: Yeah, if you want ofc. Aaliyah's boyfriend is coming too since I couldn't meet him last night, I don't wanna do that alone]

[C: Maybe I wanna see that]

[S: Or maybe you wanna see me]

[C: Maybe I just want the cookies]

[S: Ok fine but come here]

[C: I'll go eat cookies and see you]

I change clothes even though there was nothing wrong with my outfit. I try to put my hair in place but some curls just refuse to do so. I feel like this is the first time I'm experiencing what's like to bring a girlfriend home, even though I did that once when I was in college. With Camila everything feels new and exciting again.

"He's here", my dad whispers when I go downstairs. I frown and he looks over at the kitchen where I can hear people talking.

"The boyfriend?", I ask and my dad nods. I guess he has been feeling outnumbered before and needs my presence now.