Always been you

2020 (43)

I have to admit Christmas morning this year felt like a whole event and that hadn't  happened in a while. The first Christmas after the accident I barely had  energy to get out of bed. Not to mention I had just returned from my  first semester in college and I was completely wasted, alcohol still  running through my veins.

Now it was different. Better.

I woke up when my mom  started calling for us downstairs. We weren't kids anymore but my mom  always liked making a big deal out of it. Aaliyah, being a true  teenager, went down the stairs groaning the entire time. I didn't mind  the mess at all.

There were a handful of  gifts under the tree and my parents took times reading the tags to pass  them around. I got, among other things, a matching blanket hoodie  with my sister and we put them on immediately.

"Let me take a picture", my mom says excited when she sees us trying on the big hoodies.

We pose for her and she  smiles bright when she gets the picture. She sends it to our message  group and I'm checking it out when I get a new text.

[C: Merry Christmas!]

There's a picture attached to her message and it's Camila and Sofi in matching Christmas onesies. I send back my photo with my sister and say Merry Christmas as well.

[C: So cute], she replies with some emojis.

"Who are you texting?", my dad asks when he sees me smiling.

"Uh, just Camila", I say casually.

"You two are really  close now, huh?", Aaliyah comments and I take my eyes off the phone to  look at her curious expression. Oh shit.

"No. I mean, yeah. We  uh... reconnected", I try to explain without giving away too much. I'm  not ready to burst the bubble and invite other people in.

"It's nice to see", my mom adds. "She's such a nice girl".

"Oh don't play dumb now. You always wanted Shawn and Camila to date", my sister tells my mom and chuckles.

"That's not true", my  mom tries to say but even I feel the need to roll my eyes. "Ok, fine.  Maybe that's right but I'm not pushing you guys... It's just good to see  you be friends again".

I want to believe my mom, or maybe I don't, I'm not sure. The truth is she would be on top of the world if she knew about Camila and me right now. But as I said, I'm not ready to let other people in yet. I'd like to keep it to ourselves just a bit longer. Feel the excitement and the rush of a secret that's perfectly right this time. It's kinda sexy sneaking around too.

"Anyways", I sigh and get my ass off the couch. "I think I'll go for a run".

"You're no mad, right?", Aaliyah looks at me under her eyelashes with a guilty and worried expression on her face.

"No, it's fine", I say right away. Years ago, I would've be a bit annoyed but not now. "I don't mind that at all".

"He's grown up", my dad whispers.

I shake my head with a smirk and go upstairs to change clothes. I put on a hoodie and shorts, hoping I won't freeze outside.

"See ya", I murmur to my family before I close the front door behind me and jog with a clear destination in mind.

Last night, when I was already in bed after Christmas dinner, Camila texted saying her parents were helping at the church diner like they used to do every year after opening gifts. My face lit up when I realized what that meant. One more reason to wake up so happy and ready.