Always been you

2020 (13)

To say that I'm nervous is an euphemism. I feel out of place and I haven't even arrived there yet. I'm doing this more for her than myself. I don't care about making new friends but she insisted that I should meet other people so here I go.

Ten to eight I'm outside her house, sat inside my car with a bottle of red wine on the passenger seat. I dressed casual, not to fancy, not to messy. I don't want to impress the rest of the guests, I just care about one person's opinion.

I'm almost sweating when I knock on her door and wait for her to greet me with a big smile and a short yellow dress. She wants to kill me.

"Shawn", she says and wraps her arms around my neck.

"Hi, how are you?", I ask her while my heart beats like crazy inside my chest.

"I'm good. I'm so glad you came. Come in, some friends already arrived, let me introduce you".

We walk through the kitchen and dining room to the green backyard where there are three people chatting with glasses of white wine on their hands. Shit. Is that what they drink? White and not red?

I rub my neck nervously while we approach them.

"Hey everyone, this is Shawn, one of my oldest and dearest friends", she announces. "He moved to L.A. and we reunited after... what? 5, 6 years?"

"Yeah, something like that", I agree with Camila.

"Anyways. These are Sarah, Natalie and Fernando", she pointed to each one of them while they greeted me with kind smiles. "We all work at Renacer, the yoga studio".

"Oh great. I work right in front", I add.

"Oooh", Fernando says interested and I don't want to assume anything but it's pretty clear he's gay and comfortably out of the closet. "That's so cool. Are you a singer, musician, songwriter?"

"Uhm yeah, but I make music for other people, I don't like to perform", I clarify.

"That's too bad, girls would be all over you if you were", the girl with small hooded eyes, that I think it's Natalie, says.

"And boys", Fernando adds.

"I'll be right back", Camila says when we hear the door again and gets up. I can't help but follow her with my eyes.

"So you've known each other for a long time", Natalie tells me.

"That's right, since we were 6".

"Wow, must be nice to be friends since so little", the other girls says with dreamy eyes.

"We used to fight a lot when we were younger", I comment lightheartedly.

"Sounds almost like a siblings relationship", Sarah says. "It's cute".

Not with all the water under the bridge. I cringe at the image she made of us in her head but I can't tell her otherwise so I just nod and smile.

I came here prepared to see Camila's friend, Kaiden, but not even that helped me with the uncomfortable tingling behind my neck when I see him walk towards us with Camila by his side.

He goes around greeting everyone and stops before offering his hand to me.

"I know you", he says contemplative, like if he was trying to remember, and I fight the urge to seethe at his words. "I'm kidding, man. How are you?"