Just a Skyrim fanfic: Extended cut

Lets have a drink (Side)

(Back in Whiterun, Leonidas and Maximus head back to the bannered mare)

Sam: You look like someone who can hold their liquor. How about a friendly contest to see who can win a staff?

Leonidas: A drinking contest? You don't stand a chance

Maximus: Oh boy...

Sam: Ha! We'll see about that. This is a very special brew. Very strong stuff. Lets get started. I'll start round one. Down the hatch!

(Sam chugs a bottle of liquor)

Sam: Your turn

Leonidas: Here goes nothing

(Leonidas chugs a bottle of liquor)

Leonidas: One down

Sam: Another one for me

(Sam chugs another bottle of liquor)

Sam: And how about you?

Leonidas: DOubLe tHe FuN

(Leonidas chugs a second bottle of liquor)

Leonidas: EaSY eNOugH

Sam: So says you. But I think I've hit my limit with these things. Tell you what. One more and you win the contest

Leonidas: bRiNg iT On

(Leonidas chugs a third bottle of liquor)

Leonidas: nO PrOblEmsH

Sam: Wow. You've really done it. The staff is yours

(Sam gives Leonidas a staff)

Leonidas: thAsH GRaPe!

Sam: You know, you're a fun person to drink with. I know this great little place where the wine flows like water. We should go there sometime. And maybe you could bring your friends. Hey... you don't look so good...

Leonidas: WhAtcHa meEeaN?

(Leonidas grabs a lute, gets up on a table, and sings songs while playing it)

(Everyone else in the bar starts partying)

Maximus: Hey! You never told me you knew how to play the lute!

Leonidas: WooOoO!

(Leonidas keeps drinking until he passes out. Like, after his sixth bottle)

Maximus: I knew this wouldn't end well

(Maximus takes Leonidas to the recovery bed)

(Some time later)

Senna: Wake up!

(Leonidas practically jumps out of bed)

Leonidas: GAH! Oh, my head... I am never challenging Sam again...

Senna: It's time to wake up you drunken blasphemer!

Leonidas: How did I get here?

Senna: Oh. Of course you don't remember getting here. I'm guessing you also don't remember your friend carrying you in here while you're blathering about marriage and a goat. And you may not remember trying to get the rest of us to join your party at the bannered mare

Leonidas: What's wrong with having a little fun?

Senna: Well... I suppose you're right. Dibella teaches us forgiveness, after all. Even for a hilarious drunk like you. I remember you saying something about Morvunskar

Leonidas: Maybe I'll head there next. Thank you for letting me rest here

Senna: Anytime

(Leonidas is about to glide to Morvunskar, but he can't keep his balance)

Leonidas: Forget it. I'm way too messed up to glide

(Leonidas walks to Morvunskar while he sobers up with some water)

(He then starts looking around Morvunskar and finds Sam)

Sam: You're here! I was beginning to think you might not make it

Leonidas: It was quite the trip

Sam: Judging by that party at the bannered mare, you've definitely earned that staff. You see...

(Sam transforms into a dremora)

Sanguine: I really just needed a little something to encourage you to go out into the world and spread merriment. And you did juts that! I haven't been so entertained in at least a hundred years. This may have begun as a minor amusement, but it wasn't long before I realized you'd make a more interesting bearer of my not quite so holy staff

Leonidas: Thank you

Sanguine: My pleasure. But I think it's time for you to go. It's no fun keeping you locked up in here with the staff

Leonidas: Goodbye then