Just a Skyrim fanfic: Extended cut

Killing spree

(Leonidas glides to a place called half moon mill to find a man with his wife. Their names are Hern and Hert. But Hern is actually a vampire. So he is weak in the sun, which they are both standing in)

Hern: Hmm... There's a strange aura about you. You walk in the shadow of death... Leave here. Leave here and never return

Leonidas: I know what you are, nightspawn

Hern: Then you won't leave here alive!

(Leonidas and Hern both draw their blades)

Leonidas: Assassin versus vampire. A fight for the ages

Hern: Ah, so the dark brotherhood has come for old Hern, has it? Well then, let us meet as equals

(Despite having vampiric powers, Hern was actually a pretty easy battle for Leonidas. He drives his sword into Hern's heart and kills him)

Hert: NO!

(Hert tries to stab Leonidas with a knife, but Leonidas ducks, spins around with the sword in his hand, and sees Hert's head fall on the ground)

Leonidas: One down. Lots more to go

(Leonidas glides to Morthal and enters the moorside inn, where he sees his next target, Lurbuk)

Lurbuk: What's the matter, friend? Khajiit got your tongue? Maybe you need a little ditty to loosen your gob, hmm? There once was a stranger, with eyes full of danger, he spoke not a word, but his meaning was heard... Sing on, sweet Lurbuk, sing on!

(Everyone in the bar cringes)

Leonidas: Sing me a song, bard. A song of fear and death!

Lurbuk: Hmm... All right... How about this? Shadows creep, and... and phantoms leap! A man got... he got scared. And the demons dared! To um... visit upon him all which they feared! Brilliant, I know. It's a gift

Leonidas: You. Dense. Imbecile. I know orcs aren't known for being intelligent, but oh my gods

Lurbuk: What do you mean?

Leonidas: Apparently you're so hated, there are numerous dark brotherhood contracts out on you. And we held a lottery to see who would pay us

Lurbuk: Ha! Oh, that's a good one, friend. Killing Lurbuk... I mean, can you even imagine something so ludicrous? Depriving the world of my unique talents? How would you possibly do that?

Leonidas: Like this

(Leonidas extends his assassin blade through Lurbuk's chest and out his back, making him bleed out and die)

Leonidas: Tonight's show just got canceled

Group: HOORAY!

Citizen: Stay and have a drink with us!

Leonidas: Hmm... Ok, I guess one couldn't hurt

(Time skip brought to you by a wild party in Morthal)

Leonidas: Ok, who's next?

(Leonidas glides to Hela's Folly and finds a lone argonian named Deekus at a camp)

(He readies his bow and shoots an arrow into Deekus's head. Quick and easy)

(Leonidas also finds a bunch of treasure in the chest at the camp, which he takes)

Leonidas: Next up we have... Ma'randru-jo

(Leonidas glides around for a while. He has a hard time finding Ma'randru-jo because he is constantly on the move, but he eventually finds him wandering the road)