SUGA

Min Yoongi

Suga pulled his hand from J-Hope's grasp. He couldn't come to terms with the fact that his members wouldn't judge him once he told the truth. It might be a big deal to Suga, but what about the members feelings? All of their worrying might've been for nothing after hearing the truth.
He began to chew on his nails; a habit he had whenever he was stressed. It was so easy to just say what was bothering him - it shouldn't be this hard.
Why couldn't he just say how he felt? Why was he so closed off? Why did he build stone walls around himself? Impenetrable walls.

"Hyung, it's okay. We just want you to be free of this - these burdens." Namjoon coaxed.
"But if I tell my burdens, then they'll becomes yours ... That's not fair to you." Suga stated coldly.

Jin walked up to Suga and crouched down in front of him. With no hesitation, he cupped Suga's cheeks and searched his eyes - they looked close to tears. He saw shame. He saw fear. He saw the real Min Yoongi hiding behind his walls.

"Yoongi-ah, we've got you. Just let us help. Let us in, please." Jin said warmly.
"But it's my problem, they're my burdens I-"

Suga tried to finish his sentence but his voice cracked. He was breaking down in front of his members; the only people he didn't want to think of him as weak.
The band sprung into action. Everybody began to gather around Suga as he cried. Despite being from tired from earlier, he still had tears to shed.
Seeing Suga break down, didn't shock anyone this time because this time, they wanted him to...NEEDED him to. If crying was his release then they wanted him to do it. Anything to prevent their member from tormenting himself any further.
Gathering himself Suga let out one last sniffle and wiped his face. His cheeks burned a bright red from how close the members were from him. They were a little too close for comfort.

"I'm fine now." Suga mumbled.
"Are you sure hyung?" Jimin asked - he was the closest to his face.

Avoiding eye contact, he shook his head yes. The members, of course, found this small action adorable.

"Yaaa! Is THE Min Yoongi.... Blushing?" Jin teased.
"Oh, I thought I was the only who saw hyung's pale skin turn red." Jungkook teased with Jin.
"Whatever." Suga said while rolling his puffy eyes.
"Awn hyung you look so cute!" J-Hope exclaimed.

He walked up behind Suga and playfully shook his shoulders. With all of the members surrounding him, he felt better. He took a DEEP breathe and rubbed his hands together. If he was gonna tell them, he might as well do it while he had the courage.

"My father was really strict." Suga said unexpectedly.

All chatter and fun vanished. The members knew that this must be hard for Suga to do. So they backed away to give him space and listened attentively. Suga was the center of attention - he was not used to it.
Which is pretty ironic, BTS was infamous. Yet Suga couldn't even handle the 6 pairs of eyes on him.

"He never let me play with the other kids or even talk with them but I was fine with it." He said shrugging his shoulders.
"I preferred to be alone, I hated attention. It made me uneasy. Sometimes I felt sick to my stomach when I was the center of attention. But back to my father."
"If he can even be CALLED that." He stated bitterly.
"Like I said he was strict. But my mom was the exact opposite. She was so... Fun. Unlike my father, she always had a smile on her face. It could brighten anyone's day. It made me wonder how they got married. She was so lively and he was just dull. But hey, I guess opposites do attract."

The members didn't have any idea where Suga's story was going but they continued to listen anyway.

"She constantly tried to get me to play with other kids when father wasn't around. Father."
"Can you believe he always had me address him like that?" He said looking at the members.
"Father this and father that. To be honest, it pissed me off." He laughed.

'He must not have a good relationship with his dad' Jin thought.

"Although mom and "father" were married, they had a rocky marriage. Father was always too stubborn and unreasonable. He would keep things from mom and refused to have a conversation with her. Either she agree with him or she would give up and give in. She was strong but my father seemed to be an iron wall or something. Nothing got through to him - NOTHING."

The members exchanged glances. So this is where Suga got his stubbornness.

"One day mom and father got into an argument - it was the usual. Mom begging dad to listen to her - I'm not sure what exactly they said but the argument was unnecessary. Like most of their fights. The only thing I remember is mom storming out of the house and saying,
"I'm sorry baby, I can't do it anymore."
I was sitting on the porch. I loved when it rained outside, it used to make me feel happy watching the tiny drops hit the ground. I didn't understand what she meant at the time but now I do. She was saying goodbye to me. Letting me know that she was leaving and never coming back." Suga said sadly.
"He didn't chase after her or anything. He just let her leave. I thought it was my fault. In school, I was bullied. It wasn't severe but it was noticeable. Since I rarely spoke I got teased about it."
"Mom wanted to pull me out of the school - change classes. Anything to get me away from the bullies. But he said that it would help build my character. That I would be stronger with the bullying. I stressed to mom that it was fine. I didn't want him to be mad at her. I just endured it."

"What?!" Jin exclaimed.

"They always had arguments about me. About what was best for me. Imagine 10 year old me telling mom to let the bullies keep messing with me; just to keep my father happy." Suga said pitifully.

"Hyung, you know that you shouldn't have to be forced to do anything right? Your father was a JERK." Jungkook said aggressively.
"No Kook, he was just an asshole."
Namjoon said.
"Yeah he was ... Build what character?" Taehyung questioned.

Suga was glad that the members were getting angry in his stead. It made him feel relieved that they were actually listening. He laughed watching the members facial expressions. They all looked so mad.

"You guys look constipated. But yeah, he was a dick wasn't he?"

The members shook their heads in agreement.

"It had been a full week since mom had left. Everyday, I sat by the window and waited for her car to show up in the driveway. That ugly turquoise Sedan. With the side dented and the windshield cracked. I waited but she never showed."
"I was sad but I couldn't show it. Apparently crying made a man weak - made him seem like a sissy. I never realized it before but now I know that what he said is b-s. He approached me that Monday at the beginning of the second week since she had left-"

"Hajima! What does b-s mean...? Jimin asked with his hand raised.
"Bullshit Jimin, it means Bull - Shit." Suga deadpanned.
"Right ... I knew that by the way." Jimin tried to say convincingly.
"Sure you did hyung." Jungkook said while patting his shoulder.

Shaking his head at Jimin's cluelessness, Suga continued his story.

"My father came up to me and told me that she was gone. That's it. He told me that she died in a car crash on her way back home. His face held no remorse no sorrow just... Nothing. But the weird thing is that nobody called or came to say condolences. We didn't host a funeral or even get to see her body before she was so called "buried".

"But now I know why. I should've figured it out. It was right in front of my face the whole time. ALL the evidence was RIGHT there." Suga said as he gripped his hair in irritation.

"Hyung, what's wrong did he do something to her?" Jimin said worriedly.
"Did he abuse her?" Jungkook asked.

Suga's next sentence made Bangtan's jaws drop.

"She was never dead. She just said hi to me today... When my father called." He said emotionlessly.

Their eyes were wide. What?

His mother was alive?