SUGA

Too Good To Be True

"Yoongi, it's ... It's mom..."

The voice echoed in his head and he took a while to register it. That couldn't be his mother right? She was gone. That's what his father had told him, so it couldn't be real... This woman had to be lying... Right? But his father just told him that she was alive ... They were both lying?

That voice sounded just like his mom. How?

Why?

Confused.

It was the only word that Suga could use to describe how he felt. His mother WAS alive; he'd recognized that voice. It was a bit gritty, unlike his fathers' but it held warmth - warmth that Suga hadn't felt in all his years since she had left.

And she did leave but never came back. Never called, texted, visited - she never even attempted to let him know that she was alive. All of his relief soon morphed into anger and desperation. He was angry because she lied to him his entire life, giving him the illusion that his "father" was the only person that he could rely on. He felt betrayed. But he was desperate because he wanted to know. He wanted to know why she didn't call; why she even left that day.

He wanted the question that he'd wondered all his life answered:

Was it his fault?

His emotions continued to ride on this confusing roller coaster. Was he supposed to cry? Was he supposed to jump for joy or curse her for calling? Was he supposed to be sad and beg for her to return? It was difficult to tell what to do in this situation ... He felt so helpless because he wanted to do all these things.

He wanted to scream and yell - to tell her how selfish and horrible of a mother she was. He wanted to cry and beg for her to re-enter his life. He wanted be happy that she was here but he also didn't want to speak to her at all.

"Hello? Yoongi... I said it's mom.."
"... I heard."
"Well sweetie, aren't you going to say anything. I thought I would just have to listen to you breathe." She chuckled softly, nervously.
".... Why?" He whispered.
"Huh? Honey you have to speak louder."

'How DARE she? Honey .... Sweetie? She calls me these names like she's been here my WHOLE life. Does she not know the anguish I feel ... The pain that left me broken everyday with that "man" who called himself my father? ... If she's with him now ... Both of them ... Am I even ... A SON to them? Do I even ... Mean anything to them...'

"Don't "HONEY" me "mom". I said why. I asked why you left! You know, I told myself that I would be so happy if you could actually returned, when you would finally walk back into my life. I imagined sunshine and fucking rainbows! But this, how COULD you!"

"Yoongi Bear-"

"NO! YOU DON'T GET TO CALL ME THAT ANYMORE! YOU LOST THAT PRIVILEGE THE MOMENT YOU WALKED OUT OF THAT DOOR - OUT OF MY LIFE! AND FOR WHAT?! FOR WHAT? TO BE "FREE" OR WAS IT BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES ANYMORE ... Because you didn't want to deal with me anymore ... "

The members ran out of their rooms at the sound of Suga screaming. He sounded hurt, frustrated and ... Broken. Who in the world could he be talking to?

"Was it me mom, was i too-"
"Too weak?" He asked as hot tears ran down his face.
"No-"
"I was wasn't I? I could have stood up to the bullies a-and told them to stop. I should've - I wanted to - I- i..."

The BTS members were shocked. Mom? He was talking to his mother? The one who claimed to be ... Dead? How did she get his number? And how long had Suga been feeling this guilt.

Everything made sense. Suga believed that her disappearance was HIS fault. That's why the guilt continued to eat away at his confidence and self-esteem. Why he always overworked and burdened himself until he was on the brink of breaking. He felt like he owed his mother for not being better.

He created the invisible chains that held him in self pity and wallowing - they kept him shackled and imprisoned. But how were you supposed to free someone when THEY held the keys to their own freedom?

You couldn't. Because the only way for them to become free, is if they unlocked the chains - which could only be done if they wanted it to happen. If they felt that they deserved to be unshackled.

"Hyung..." The youngest spoke first.

Suga couldn't even hear the maknae's soft voice. His aching heart and overwhelming emotions tuned out all sounds - leaving only ragged breathing heard in his ears.

"Hyung, are you okay?"
"Yoongi-ah breathe."
"Hyung? Can you hear us?"

Nobody seemed to get through to the rapper. They tried calling his name and shook him, Jin even hugged the small, frail boy but ... Nothing.

It felt like he was unconscious again. Only this time he wasn't. He was awake but his emotions were beginning to control him. They began spiraling and Suga started to hyperventilate.

"Yoongi, hon- what's wrong?" The woman asked frantically.

She was still on the call and heard her baby breaking down. But why? She had been there his whole life. She watched him grow up and sent him letters about how she was doing and how badly she wished that he was with her. What did he mean she wanted to be "free of her responsibilities"? James said that this would happen, that he wouldn't listen. Her husband warned her not to call but she couldn't resist. She FINALLY had a way to contact her son, her pride and joy, whom she loved and adored, but he was saying that ... He didn't want her?

What had she done wrong? Were the letters not fulfilling enough? Well of course they weren't. Nothing compared to the real thing.

"HYUNG!"
"Jin-hyung, what's happening to him!" Jimin said frantically.
"He won't breathe!"
"Call manager-nim tell him that- HYUNG!"

*THUD*

Suga's body hit the hardwood floor.