I'm ALWAYS here

Chapter 12

All the way, I had a strange feeling in my stomach. I wasn’t at the precinct since Josh attacked me. I was biting my lip. As soon as I got off the elevator, I saw Espo and Ryan. Espo immediately led me to an interrogation room. I sat down on a chair and joined my hands.

"Beckett, shall we?" he asked and I nodded.

"Gates said that we have recorded even though you're a victim. Tell me everything from the beginning," he said and smiled at me. "It started three months after I returned home from the hospital. Throughout those three months, when I was recovering, I didn’t have sex with him. After three months, I was physically fine and he wanted me to make it up. When he raped me for the first time, he hit me and then he did it. When he finished, let me lie on the bed. He told me: “Don’t say this to anyone and wear long sleeves!” The next day he did it again and then again. I tried to fight with him, but couldn’t. He liked it, so he was doing it at least five times a week next three months. You know the rest. Here in the precinct, as he attacked me," I said with all my mental strength.

Tears were falling down my cheek and my hands were shaking. Espo wanted to grab my hand. At that moment I realized that I couldn’t tolerate masculine touch. I quickly ran into a corner. I collapsed on the floor and I started to cry. Ryan ran into the room and with Esposito sat down to me. He handed me a tissue. I thanked him and slowly lifted. "I'm sorry," I whispered. They both nodded. I took a sweatshirt and went back to the Castle. Alexis was sitting on the couch and watching Frozen. Rick was sitting in his office and wrote. I hugged Alexis and I went after him.

"Hi. How was it?" he asked me and smiled. I sat in the chair.

"I collapsed. I told everything, but then Espo wanted to touch me and I explored," I whispered and lowered my head. Rick came up to me and put his hand on my back. I winced a little, but I let him. His fingers began to move over my spine.

"Is it nice?" he asked.

"Hmm," I muttered and then I hugged him. He slowly put both hands on his back and pulled me to him. I buried my head into his neck. I was crying.

"Forgive me. I’m so sorry," I whispered and he kissed my hair.

"You are just apologizing. For what?” he asked curiously.

"I didn’t let touch me. Now you can. It's much nicer, and I need your touch," I said. Rick stroked me on the cheek and then kissed me softly. Someone laughed behind us.