I'm ALWAYS here

Chapter 17

"Rest," Rick said and kissed me on the top of my head, "If you need to vomit, tell me."

"Thank you," I whispered, "And I'm sorry. I ruined our plans today." Rick put his finger to my lips and shook his head. I closed my eyes and after a while I fell asleep.

The next three days I spent in bed or on the couch. I didn’t eat. I was not hungry and didn’t want to eat. Rick tried to force me, but I always refused. I played with Alexis. We talked, we viewed the photos and we watched movies. Me and Castle, we fondled and we talked a lot. I told him how I feel. I was very happy, but I wanted to go to work. I missed the acction, which brought me my job. I sat in bed and I was looking e-mails from the precinct. Rick sat next to me and staring at me.

"I want to go to work," I said.

"Forget. You are not healthy and are not mentally right," he said.

"I'm healthy and I can deal with the psyche. Please," I said with a puppy eyes.

"Okay. I don’t want to argue. Promise me that you'll be careful," he said seriously. I kissed him.

"I will. Thanks," I just hugged him and gave him kiss on cheek," I'll go tomorrow," I said happily. I got up out of bed and started to prepare clothes.

"So you have to promise me that you will eat. For the last four days you have eaten almost nothing," said Rick and I could hear in his voice concern, care and love.

"Don’t worry about me. I will eat," I lied.

"Okay, Detective Beckett," he said laughing.

"Thank you, writer Richard Castle," I said with a laugh.

In the morning I dressed in jacket, shirt and jeans. I gave Alexis kiss and Rick's long gentle kiss and I went to the precinct. Of course without breakfast. When I came out of the elevator, everyone smiled at me and there was even a momentary applause. Espo and Ryan welcomed me with big hug. I thanked him and immediately went to work on a new case. It was a woman, 35 years old. Before her death she had been raped. I shuddered. I knew that the return will be psychologically difficult, but I didn’t expect that the first case will be raped woman. I thought about what happened to me, but I deleted it in my head and I'd rather fall on the job. First I made coffee to replace breakfast somehow. Then there was just concentrating. Evidence. Suspects and everything around.