I'm ALWAYS here

Chapter 33

When I was in the 20th week, my hormones began work and I started to have nightmares and dreams about Josh and him raping me. I woke sweated in the middle of the night. Rick was always asleep, so he never noticed it. I did not tell him anything. I did not want. I had it like that for the third week when I decided to call Neal and order the therapy. So I did it. It was evening before the session and I was lying in bed with Rick. He stroked my belly and I was resting my head on a pillow.
"Tomorrow, you go to the precinct alone. I need to run some errands," I said and he looked up to me.
"Okay. Is something wrong?" he asked worriedly and put his arms around my waist. I shook my head. He nodded and kissed me for goodnight. I fell asleep peacefully in his arms. I was glad that that night I didn't have nightmare.

I woke up, dressed up and ate my breakfast. Then I said goodbye to Rick and Alexis and I went to Neal. I sat in the waiting room chair and gently tapped on my belly. Neal called me inside. I sat on the sofa and smiled.
"I am pleased to see you again, Miss Beckett. I see that you are satisfied and happy. Congratulations, "said Neal and shook my hand.
"I'm glad I'm here too and thank you," I replied.
"Tell me what's troubling you," he told me.
"I have dreams. I have nightmares about Josh. My memories return to my head. Rape and all the bad things I experienced with him," I stammered out of myself and I try hard to hold back tears in my eyes. Neal gave me a tissue and I wiped the tears.

"It's probably your hormones work, but we can talk about it if you want," Neal said and smiled. I nodded. We talked for an hour of my therapy. I've described a lot of those dreams and everything that was happening to me.
"Neale, could you give me some pills to make it stop?" I asked, "I want to sleep calmly."
"No. Unfortunately I cannot give you any pills because of the baby's safety. The only thing I can recommend is that you will go to me for therapy at least once or twice a week."
"Okay."
"Talk with Richard and your friend. Try to relax a little, think of the little girl you have inside and don't worry. It'll be okay," he said with a smile. I thanked him, we shook hands and then I went to the precinct. I talked with Lanie and we decided that sometimes we have to go shopping and take Alexis with us.