A Journal of a Broken Personality

I'm learning about Money.

I'm learning, I'm learning about Money.

Money money money, everyone needs and wants to have money. Money for food, clothes, house, cars, holidays leisure's etc. In fact, these days' people need more money than ever to survive, the cost of living has increased thus more and more people look for avenues to get more, little business on the side like catering, selling clothes etc money is needed.

I started working early in the work force, so being exposed to money at a young age found me at a naïve state, money would come and go within minutes. I would live from paycheck to paycheck even though it was enough to survive I always felt that it was never enough and that I wanted more. The taste of money and great things that we can get drive us to want more.

I'd spend my money on clothing, even though I had plenty to go round with I always wanted more The party lifestyle didn't help at all most weekends were spent in the night clubs, being a then smoker didn't help as it sucked my pocket dry trying to support my dirty habit. Every non-pay week I would find myself asking work mates for cigarettes, even counting coins to catch the bus home. As I look back I realize how unwise I was with money, it's ridiculous because even in that state I knew I had a problem but I didn't know how to fix it. I would always say I won't do it again but found myself at square one.

I look back at my salary and realized that If I wasn't materialistic or didn't have any dirty habits I could have survived matter of fact I would have lots of money left over.

Timothy 6:9 "but those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. for the love of money is the root of all evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness and pierced themselves through with many sorrows."

I always dreamed about winning the lottery or somehow getting rich, traveling the world living in a luxurious house and a fancy car. I never went out to buy a scratch and win card and I praise God for that because that would have been another bondage. Imagine all the money people spend on a scratch and win, it may look like a measly dollar but if we accumulate that money yearly people would be surprised on how much money they gamble away for a jackpot that the chances could be one in a million.

Money has power. If we are not the master over it, it becomes the master and destroys us. Money is not bad but THE LOVE of it is the danger, this can lead to stealing, ungodly lifestyles and expensive habits living beyond our means, drug trafficking, in the workforce people tread all over each other just to reach the top for a higher paycheck, even nepotism and corruption all because of money, the list can go on how the love of money can lead people to destruction. Before I always thought the problem was that I was never getting enough, in fact it I was just being unwise.

Timothy 6: "now godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into this world and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content". 

Exactly how the scripture is said we need to be content with what we have, yes it may not be much but once we learn to be thankful God opens our eyes to see how richly we are blessed on so many other areas, this takes the focus away from money and bring the focus on God. Being unemployed for 2 years was very difficult, I would see my friends on social media having jobs, fancy meals and traveling this really upset me, it didn't help either with my brother calling me a "bum" playfully but sure enough it made me feel pathetic. Here I was back home living with my parents with no job and no money. This season was the hardest, I was applying for jobs here and there trying to figure if I was to return to school and yet nothing opened up for me.

I was mad at God! I was stuck and I needed money to survive and fan for myself but that scripture taught me a lesson. "having food and clothing, with these we shall be content" I needed to focus on God and not money. Yes it was so difficult it took a long time to finally get over the fact that I was unemployed and had no money. But the more I changed my prayer and began to be thankful the more I saw that I was blessed sure enough I realized I had enough clothing and enough food. That scripture humbled me.

The danger of wanting more money drives us into a life of unsatisfactory hunger, an emptiness that isn't filled a life of greed, it's like having a smartphone seeing the new release  makes me want to get it and so I keep upgrading even though the one I'm using is perfectly fine. It's like a brand new car although I have a good car that works well but my friend has a better or new one one I still want to upgrade. It's like having a wardrobe of so much clothes but not wearing half of them yet I still go shopping. If we can't master money it will soon master us.

We need to remember and realize that everything will remain, naked we came and naked we shall return. The world says things like "we only live once, so make the use of it" that is true but we have to be wise about it. We can't have material things be our God or drive to get more more to satisfy the want. Money is indeed the root of ALL evil.

It's a good time to reflect. Where do you stand? Are you satisfied with the little that you have, Do you want more?

Mathew 6:24 "No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon"

I live you with this question. Is money controlling you?

I'm learning, I'm learning about Money.