A Journal of a Broken Personality

I'm learning about Fasting.

I'm learning, I'm learning about Fasting.

When I was a child I considered fasting as torture. I couldn't understand the concept of it and why would anyone voluntarily do that? I remember learning about the Esther fast, no food and water for 3 days never in my life could I pull that off and hearing about the 40 day fast that Jesus did was amazing but for me to do that, no way! To fast one day itself is difficult let alone 40 days? You have got to be kidding me, there was no way I would put myself in such position. Growing up my father used to encourage us to fast he would kindly remind my siblings and I to pray and read our bible while we were fasting because if we didn't it would just pass as hunger strike, and so hunger strikes it was for me, I never enjoyed fasting.

when I attend church they would speak about it, but never did I ever take it seriously. Fasting to me was always for the religious people, not religious in the sense those who wanted to be "holy holy" but those who were serious with their walk with God like pastor's elders and parents, fasting was never meant for children. I knew there was a purpose but I never thought I would need it, I didn't fully understand the importance of it.

Getting my life right with God in 2016 found myself becoming hungry for God. I wanted more of his word, his presence. I would get up early in the wee hours of the morning to worship God and pray. I would meditate on his word but somehow I knew I was missing something. At that time, I began studying Mathew 5 a chapter filled with so much powerful lessons that Jesus taught himself. vs17-18"but you when you fast, anoint your head wash your face. so that you do not appear to men to be fasting, but to the father who is in secret place; and your father who sees you in secret will reward you openly" that was what stood out, when Jesus said "when you fast" he didn't say "if you fast" he said "WHEN" which meant as a Christian you NEED and HAVE to fast, that was when I decided that I would start fasting.

And so my journey of fasting began, I didn't know how to and why but I knew I needed to, Praise God for the Holy spirit he was the one who taught me how to fast he indeed is the best teacher. I began my fast how strange it was after all my whole entire life revolved around eating. Rarely would I miss a meal but I'm so thankful to God for his patience and gentleness on showing me how and why. My first serious fast started from 6am to 12pm a liquid fast, my goodness! it was difficult I remember hearing my stomach growling I kept fueling up on water to try to satisfy it but my stomach couldn't be fooled it wanted food, as it approached 11 the countdown began it felt like the longest hour of my life, every minute I'd be checking the hands of the clock I became irritated the seconds looked like it was slowing down on purpose just to torture me, then finally I gave in as human as I am I broke my fast before the proper time, with no guilt I would eat to satisfy my hunger but once I finished I would be disappointed about myself and guilty that I gave in.

I prayed and asked God to forgive me for eating before 12pm and pleaded that he help me the next time round, as gentle as he is God reminded me of my father's word that I had to read the word of God and pray in that way I would get the strength that I needed to sustain me. This was the beginning to many fast ahead of me, I'm not perfect I failed many fasts giving in to my hunger but I soon learned. As true to his word God began to slowly increase my hours in fasting, from to 6am-3pm a liquid fast, slowly within time it extended to 6pm, then a full day 6am to 6pm and soon it became a dry fast, that meant not food or liquid and soon enough he led me to an Esther fast, which I still can't believe I did. He was right fasting only goes hand in hand with studying the word and consistent prayer.

But why fasting? What is the whole purpose? Do I fast just so that I could get something? Being obedient to the call of fasting God began to teach me the reasons of it and the powerful impact fasting has. I began reading the book of Daniel and came about an interesting point in chapter 6:10 "Now when Daniel knew that the writing was signed he went home, and in his upper room, with how windows opened towards Jerusalem, he knelt down on his knees 3 times that day, and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as was his custom since early days" The Holy spirt showed me that to feed our body we have 3 meals breakfast, lunch and dinner. Daniels prayer life was 3 times a day that was to feed his spirit, as much as he was feeding his flesh he was also feeding his spirit by being in the presence of God.