A Journal of a Broken Personality

I'm learning about the Heart

I'm learning, I'm learning about the Heart

As I walk with Christ more and more I begin to understand the difference between the flesh and the spirit. In todays society the heart is the persons instinct of truth, However the heart is the flesh making it part of the sinful nature. The heart is the core of men's thoughts, emotions and will in other words it is the soul. This is the place where sin initially begins to stir and bubble just waiting to be executed. The devil always attacks the heart, to get to the heart means to ultimately get the person.

Galatians 5:19-21 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contention, jealousies, outburst of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murder, drunkenness, revelries and the like: or which I tell you beforehand, just as o told you, in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. There is nothing good in the flesh; all good things come from the spirit.

I remember being a child taught by teaches and advised by adults, to "follow your heart" what a lie we have been told. To believe in your heart, this has taught us to rely on our own knowledge and understanding rather than the Lord, it has made us independent and most importantly it has fed our pride. To trust in your own feelings is a direct confession that there is no need of God.

Jeremiah 17:9-10 the heart is deceitful and above all things desperately wicked, who can know it? I the Lord search the heart I test the mind. Even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruits of his doing.

Above ALL things the heart is desperately wicked, "ALL" is the key word which means the heart is the number 1 wicked thing, more than money, power, fame etc. it is where the sinful nature lays, just waiting to burst out. We must realize that we are all born into sin, that the sinful nature is imbedded in us. Romans 5:12 therefore just as through one-man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned. By freewill we are given the choice to act with what is in our heart. The Lord is the only one who can search the heart and see the truth within, but God is such a gentleman that he gives us according to our decision and with those decisions there is always consequences either good or bad.

I for one have decided to stop following my heart, it has betrayed me time and time again. I learnt that things that FEEL good are not necessarily good for me. There was a relationship that I pursued, he was a lovely man everything that I though would be good for me. God fearing, kind and of good character. There was nothing wrong in my eyes of having the relationship we were at the correct age to settle, so why not? But the Lord said when we initially started to separate, the relationship was a form of Idolatry.

We disobeyed God and continued with our relationship. His mother was against it from the very  beginning and for the next year and half I had to deal with her verbal abuse, there were people in the church who didn't like the idea that we were a couple. Soon we felt that those very people started distancing from us and soon with the rejection from his family and the church we grew closer, oh how we were determined to make the relationship work.

You see the heart is deceitful. My feeling for him overrode my obedience to Christ, we spent most of the time trying to defend our relationship rather than actually having one peacefully. God knew the relationship wouldn't work for so many reasons, some church members disapproved his parent's disliked me, and who knows what lay in the future but him. I learnt that although we are adult we needed to honor our parents, we were both disobedient to God and his parents, my folks on the other hand were supportive, and they loved him very much.

What a struggle we had, how many times we called off the relationship. On and off we went because our heart betrayed us, our feeling for each other was far more important than Gods instructions. I praise God for his mercy during our rebellion, can you imagine God had every right to destroy us, we both had the knowledge and the conviction but willingly we decided to follow our heart. Saturday in and Saturday out he and I would cry out to the Lord at the altar of our church seeking his forgiveness for being together and if he could please separate us because we were finding it difficult to do it ourselves.