Concealed (A Cameron Dallas Fanfiction)

Chapter Thirty Three

Chapter Song //

Spotless Mind by Jhene Aiko

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At lunch, Cameron wanted to take me to Dairy Queen. I tried all the denying I could but he kept pushing, so I had to accept. Maybe outside is the best way to ask him. But for some reason, I don't know how to ask. Every time I think of starting the question, my tongue gets too large for my mouth and I start to sweat excessively.

We grab some food, but sit in my car, because it's 95 degrees outside today. I pull off my cardigan, feeling like I'm suffocating under its fuzz, as the cool breeze of my car blows onto my face. I reach for a french fry and dip it in honey mustard. Cameron watches me as I watch my ice cream sundae melt in the hot sun. "What?" I finally say, but not taking my eyes off of my food.

For a minute, he doesn't answer me, so I think he's going to ask me if I'm okay again. But he doesn't. "Are you going eat it or just watch it melt?" I shrug, unknowingly. I'm not much on food right now considering I'm in the middle of an investigation I don't know how to handle. "Leighton, what's wrong with you?"

And there it is. The question. I want to ask it. Throb. I need to ask it. Sweat. I want to ask him right now but I don't know how. Throb. So I count to three and hope my emotions don't fuck everything up.

1. 2. 3. Shit I can't do it.

"Nothing," I mumble, instead. He gives me look of sympathy. Like he's being left out or something, or I'm icing him out. But the truth is, he's icing me out. He's leaving me out. I don't know what Cameron's hiding.

"Leighton,"

"What were you talking about this morning?" That's not really how I pictured me asking, but at least I got it out.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"This morning," I start, and feel my tongue swell up. But I know it's too late and I can't bite it. "You were with Carter...?"

His face goes white, like all the blood was drained from it or something. "Um.." He searches for an excuse, looking around the car. "She asked me a question about this girl she didn't like. She thinks Taylor's cheating on her or something."

I feel a tear puncture the back of my eyes. Oh how I wish I didn't hear that much of the conversation. I wish I could believe him so I could stop feeling like this. I hate feeling like this. I long for the truth, and that's all I want, but I can't have that. Because he won't give that to me. He's going to wait until the last minute. Until Carter gives it to me. And everything's going to go down. And I'm going to start thinking the universe doesn't like us again. But maybe it doesn't. Maybe all of this is happening for a reason and I'm just denying it because I'm too stubborn.

"Why? What'd you hear?" I consider the possibility of lying. I mean, he's doing it to me, why can't I do it to him?

"Oh, nothing." Something as subtle as my reply will make him guilty, then he'll tell me. Then maybe I won't feel so bad. Then I won't be longing for something I can't have. "We should get back." I start the car and feel his hand on my arm.

I look at him, confused, glance down at his hand, then look back up at him. "I love you." He says. Which isn't fair. He has no right to pull a card like that out on me. He can't do that. Because his love is figurative. And that's not allowed.

"I love you too." The words sloppy stumble from my lips, into the air.

"No, Leighton, you don't get it. I love you. And no one's going to stop that." He urges. I feel my face get hot and heart tighten.