Fitz was an idiot.
We all knew that.
But then he met a girl.
Her name was Chandi.
Her skin glowed like no other.
He swooned at the sight of her.
His most witchlike sister disliked Chandi.
She was just jealous.
For no other had the heart of such a beauty as he did (bruh wtf am i doing -_- send help)
"Thoust shalt marry moi" he decided one day.
So they did.
And they had twenty-six children.
His sister and Tam dissed him.
They looked upon him with something like disgust.
But naw, it was probably envy.
His twenty-six children were called:
Aline Billie Ciara Devin Ethan
Fiona George Hannah Isla
Juniper Kate Liam Matthew Nicole
Owen Peppa Pig II Quinn Ryan Samuel
Thomas the Tank Engine II Uma Viola
William Cockroach IV Xavier Yvonne
Zeke the ugly shi*
He enjoyed putting his kids through wigs made of Keefe's hair.
His beloved had TikTok so they posted videos of Dex shooting them goatkids out of cannons one by one.
One day he was home.
"HONEY IM HOOOOOOOOOOOME"
He found the glowing piece of furniture making out with the vacuum.
He gritted his teeth and punched him to saturn.
"WERE DIVORCING YOU PLASTIC WALMART ELSA!" he screamed to Chandi because he had anger issues and also because she was cheeting.
She punched herself and all her beautiful crystals exploded.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO MY BELOVED I DID NOT MEAN IT" he screamed, as original as Shakespeare.
But alas.
She was no more.
Fitz Vacker eventually joined the neverseen.
One day, he was sweeping the floor, when he noticed how particularly shiny his broom was.
by Esme
YOU ARE READING
SOLANDIS // KotLC Oneshots
Romance𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐒 (𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘯.) 𝗮 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗼𝗿 𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗳𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 This is a series of oneshots based on one of my favorite series, Keeper of the Lost Cities. - ACHIEVEMENTS: #3 in Tiana as of Sep 25th, 2021 #1 in Chandelitz as o...
