SOLANDIS // KotLC Oneshots

Fluttershy Barbie Moonshine Swanhead

Another crack- this one to make fun of cliche gacha stories but it's not meant to be offensive lol.

Sup binches. I am Fluttershy BArBie Moonshine Swanhead, and I am the definition of TOMBOY.

"flUtTerShYYYyYyyY," my mom screamed. "Wakkke upppp!" On top of that, the alarm chimed. I groaned and fell out of bed like that bad b I am. UwU.

I covered my face with my blonde hair with black strands bc I'm quirky haha. Then I teleported to the mirror and blinked my huge clear brown orbs. If I could, I'd wear black eye contacts but my mom won't let me sksksksk.

She just jelly bc she ha red hair and it's not as cool as mine. Also my dads totally rich btw.

My mom hiccuped and danced across the living room in a barf green tutu. "Bye mistake!"

"I hate you mom," I said edgily, doing the floss. Then I dabbed and exited bc I'm so rebellious.

I took out my iPhone900000 and started reading Wattpad shit about some soft shy uwu cat called Sophie Foster. Ew. Though now that I think about it, she looks like me and has the same friends. Then I took out my glass of crushed smarties bc it's obviously cocaine and swallowed without chewing.

"Fluttershy!" screamed my clumsy shy friend called Bianana or something. But she's just that side character so her name isn't important enough.

She's a level one cat, and I'm a level 1000000000 mega alphahybridwolf with black wings since it's edgy. But I mix with her bc I'm so nice and honest UwU.

Her eyes are bright teal and her hair a thick luscious brown unlike my thin grass hair, but we don't talk about that since as the main character, I have to be the prettiest.

She tripped over oxygen and continued to do so as we went to school on my iPhone9000000 which turns into a hoverboard at will btw.

As I entered the school with metal spikes on my boots and flipped my hair, everyone bowed low. Then I gave everyone detention because apparently alphas have the right to do that.

Bianana was going to sit next to this other girl called Linh or something with black hair and silver bangs, who is the only one I'm jealous of bc she's pretty and has that black hair.

But I pulled her away bc DUH I'm jealous. She looked sad and kept staring at Linh.

Meh. I'm the one with devil wings and angel horns here.

The kid next to me called Beef or something (which parent names their poor child that?) has a huuuuge crush on me like everyone else. He gave me a flower but I shoved it up his nose and scratched him with my nails bc he's obvi a perv.

Then someone came in. He said his name was Tam Song and he was the edgiest person ever. He sat behind me and kicked my ass, to which I retaliated by throwing a chair.

Then the teacher sent us to detention bc we're too quirky for her.

We sat behind each other for some reason and then Tam almost killed me by choking me. Then he carried me to a hospital. For some reason I did not fight back even though I'm the edgiest and baddest b around.

Then I opened my eyes and stared into his lake ones and fell in love, so I asked him to fight me after school.

I standed there and everyone watched bc I have an A+ in spealling n grammer. "I AM THE EDGELORD" I SCREAMED.

"SCREAM!" Tam said and charged at me with his feet.

"NEVER!" I dyed my hair black, but then Tam painted his nails black and put on a black skirt and I fell to the ground shocked. Then I got up and transformed.

MIRACULOUS.

SIMPLY THE BEST.

UP TO THE TEST, WHEN THINGS GO WRONG.

And then I did the splits in the sky and my eyes turned into black glowing coils and my hoodie into a bikini.

Then Tam fell at my feet and asked me to marry him.

I said-

I cannot take this anymore. Let's have a good ending, yes? You can pick from the three:

Before I could reply, Keefe jumped on Tam. "MARRY ME JULIET?" And then Tam kissed him and they ran away. Then Biana proposed to his sister and they kissed and ran away. Dex and Marella, who we didn't know existed, also got married.

I was left alone to die in my edgy badass queen glory.

Or...

Before I could open my pretty mouth, Biana slapped me in the face. She turned to Tam and hugged him. Tam breathed a sigh of relief and yeeted the wedding ring again. Then they did that Disney Princess kiss swirly thingy.

Then, Marella, who I didn't know existed, asked Linh to marry her bc apparently they were dating. She said yes and they bibbidy bobbidy-booed away.

Finally, Dexipoo decided to get with Keefe and they carried Fitz away into hell.

I was all by myself but then I married my new bestfriend's boyfriend bc I'm hot.

OR...

I killed Tam bc apparently I'm Barbie now and he's Ryan and Keefe is Ken. So I went to Keefe and asked him to marry me but he said he loved Chandi. So they got married and I was kidnapped by Chandi at the wedding and she tried to kill me.

But then Tam came back to life snd saved me. We were about to smooch when Biana hit me on the head with a frying pan.

fin.

Which one is the best ending? It's up to you to decide....

Oneshot inspired by Consultingdemiwitch and their story "The Worst Pjo Fanfic Ever."