13th Doctor x Reader: Lost

Chapter 19: Feelings

A/n: Just want to mention this chapter and a lot of future ones will have parts dealing with y/n's eating disorder. For those who wish to skip, the beginning and end will be marked with: [ and ]

"Izzy!" You cry. You keep seeing her on her bed that day you met the Doctor. She was so sad. She keeps dying. Over and over and over...

"Izzy!" You shout again, only to be woken by a hummmm...

You wake up in a cold sweat. You're so tired, but you let out a smile of relief that it was just a dream, though a very disturbing one. Where did the humming... you start to wonder when you hear it again.

"Hello?" You ask, carefully stepping out of bed. You feel the floor warm underneath you. Suddenly it clicks for you. It's the TARDIS. Wait... is this ship alive?! Suddenly you're hit with an image of your door opening, through your own eyes...

You fall back on your bed as you see the door open. How...

"Are you alright dear?" It's Missy's voice. You search your mind for what just happened. Would there be another? You get nothing.

"Mhm." You mutter, rolling under your covers, still facing away from the door.

"Bad dream?" She offers. You don't respond. If afraid to relive it. "Look." You hear her sigh. "It might help if you... talk about it?" You hear her cringe. It makes you smile a little, it feels weird to smile.

"No. I'm fine." You respond with no emotion in your voice.

"Well you don't really sound or look like it." She says gently. You shrug, really wishing she would leave you alone. You hear footsteps coming closer.

"I'm just tired." You mumble.

"Well sleepyhead, it's eight am. Come on!" She pulls the covers off you. You let out a grumble in protest and pull them back over you. "We're not playing that game!" She says with a serious yet playful tone.

She picks you up by your underarms and drags you into the middle of the room. The TARDIS is against you too, and you feel the floor underneath you getting very cold, making you very carefully stand up.

"Good girl. Get dressed and I'll see you in five." She walks past you quickly. You feel a sudden shift in her mood... odd.

Groaning you go to the TARDIS wardrobe and pick out -insert outfit here-. Once your finished changing you hear a hummm underneath you. It doesn't sound as urgent as before, instead it sounds more... concerned...

"I'm okay?" You ask in question, feeling quite weird for talking to a ship. You hear another disbelieving humm. "Am I really talking to a box?" Another offended humm. You shrug it off and start walking down the corridors, having absolutely no idea where you were going.

"Ah! Y/n, glad your up! Come on!" You see the Doctor peeking around one of the doorways. Oh... you know where this is going. You take a hesitant step backwards. "It's okay." She walks out and stands a few feet away from you. "I'm a Doctor. We're taking it slow, I promise." She looks you in the eyes, and you see honesty. You nod and follow her.

She points you towards a chair with half a slice of toast and some hazy looking water. [You start to feel your heart rate picking up, and your head spinning. You really don't want to faint again, so you sit down and just stare at it.

"Hey." The Doctor sits next to you. "It's hard, I know. But you really need this, okay?"

"I can't..." You mumble.

"You can, I know you can. Today we can get your sister, okay? But I really need you to do this so you can start to live your best life." She looks at you with so much inspiration, so you pick up the toast and very slowly nibble on it.

You eat a little over half of it before breaking out in tears.

"Hey, it's okay." She reaches out an arm to comfort you, and you flinch. "Okay, I won't touch you." She puts both of her arms up, calming you down. "You did good, okay?" You look up and see her smile. She takes away the plate and nods towards the hazy water.

"What did you put in it?" You ask quietly.

"Vitamins and a little energy boost, to get you through the morning." She says while putting your plate in the sink. You quickly drink it, surprised at the sweet taste... unless... oh...

"Glucose." You sigh, feeling horribly guilty.

"Y/n." She turns around, leaning on the island and giving you a serious yet caring look. "I really don't want you to pass out again, okay? It's just a little bit." You can't... you turn and run out of the room with a few tears in your eyes.]

You sit in the control room, twiddling with the hair tie you took out of your hair.

"Hey, you alright?" You see Yaz out of the corner of your eye, taking a seat next to you.

"Mhm." Keep looking down. Keep looking down.

"Y/n, nobody here is going to hurt you. We're all here to help. I promise." You bring yourself to look into her eyes. She's telling the truth.

"Okay." You nod, mostly meaning it. Yaz gives you a supportive smile. She's about to say something else when the Doctor and Missy come in arguing.

"Really Doctor? Do you have any idea how stupid you're being?" Missy exclaims, throwing her hands up again. With the umbrella. What is the umbrella for?

"She'll help! I really think so."

"But if something happens-" They both pause and see you and Yaz sharing a confused glance.

"What?" Yaz asks.

"Missy doesn't-" the Doctor starts.

"Izzy?" You divert your eyes to the TARDIS door.

"I'll keep her safe. I promise." You give them your best convincing smile.

Missy sighs and you know she isn't convinced.

"I swear, she's the most important person in my life. Nothing will happen to her."

"You sure you want to do this? She is safer at home." The Doctor gives you a dead serious look.

"Yes!" You stand up a little to quickly, but find your balance.

"Alright." She sighs, quite concerned. "When and where?"

"Umm... four pm, -insert your local high school- the day after the... mist..." You mumble. She gives you a small nod.

The Doctor starts dancing around the controls as Graham and Ryan come in. The TARDIS starts shaking, immediately knocking you off your feet. You grab onto a pillar to stop yourself from sliding across the room. You notice the Doctor and Missy barely moving at all. How... are they alien? That possibility hadn't really occurred to you. You had just thought they were from the future.

Your muscles start straining and you go sliding into the controls.

"Owww." You groan. You feel a strong pair of arms pull you up. Missy gives you a half smile, holding onto your waist to keep you upright.

You hear the TARDIS make some sort of... smirking hum?

"Stop it!" The Doctor is clearly upset about something. "Don't you dare, absolutely not!" Now she's just irritated. "Alright, we're here!" She starts moving towards the door.

"Actually, do you mind if I go... by myself? I'll come straight back." You cross your fingers behind your back.

"Yeah, of course." She gives you a concerned look. You ignore her and step out in front of the school, a flood of relief coming over you. As long as your heart is beating, she will never have to see that man again.