13th Doctor x Reader: Lost

Chapter 71: Stars

You pace around the counsel room, being the only one left. The Doctor had been the most reluctant to leave, anxiety and worry crossing her face as Yaz convinced her to leave. You understand, knowing something horrible was about to happen and having no control.

Or had already happened, seeing as this is a time machine.

You also have the matter of the drumming in your head, which seem to grow louder whenever you feel empathy, or try to be nice. You consider telling the Doctor, but the thought makes them grow louder, sending you falling to your knees.

"Bad idea." You mutter, getting up and turning to the doors. Wondering what lies outside, you slowly open them.

What catches your eyes is beautiful. A sun, burning stunning shades of red and orange, the stars around it twinkling. Looking a little closer, you see a cluster of stars lit up in purple and gold. It sort of looks like your galaxy, the Milky Way, based on pictures you've seen online.

Wanting to be closer, you jump up to catch the door frame of the TARDIS, pulling yourself up on top. Carefully standing, you let yourself be completely absorbed by them. Drawn in to each ones' shining light, mainly looking at what you assume is your own. 

You wonder which light is Earth, where many people spend a whole lifetime never knowing the beauty, or fire, of the Universe, spending days worrying about rent, or a possible promotion. You wince, realizing that was nearly you.

"I see you've found my secret lookout." You jump, spinning around to see the Doctor sitting on the edge, legs dangling. Her posture is slightly down, making her look small.

Nodding, you join her, gripping the sides while your legs dangle into the unending void of space.

"Is that the Milky Way?" You ask, pointing to the swirling Galaxy.

She looks at you, a proud smile on her face.

"I like to keep an eye on it, never know when the next alien invasion will pop up." At the last remark her face changes to one of worry. You know she's thinking about the Master and Cybermen. 

"Whatever happens-" You clutch your forehead with one hand, feeling like the pounding is about to burst out of your forehead. Standing up, it doesn't go away.

You sense the presence behind you also stand up, a cautious hand on your shoulder.

"Y/n, what's wrong?" She asks, pulling back as you stumble forward.

"Headache." You hiss, "I'm going to sleep." You feel extremely shaky as you dangle yourself back in, mainly because you know what would happen if you fell. The drums seem to back off, enough not to be painful, but not into the background.

The lights in the counsel room seem brighter than normal, as well as extremely hot. You lean on a pillar, trying to catch your breath. The drumming... you close your eyes, placing a hand on your forehead.

A low anger seems to come from nowhere, building up on nothing. Violently spinning around, you run down the corridor, having no idea why you're running or where you're going. Eventually, you find yourself in your bedroom. Screaming into a pillow, you calm down. The lights seem to dim on their own, the air getting cooler.

You realize what just happened. Feeling somewhat scared over the complete loss of self-control, you take some deep breaths, falling backwards onto your bed. The drumming feels stronger, more controlling. Every inch of reason is telling you to tell someone, but it feels like there's an invisible force stopping you.

Deciding otherwise, you force yourself up, changing into a black nightgown and washing your face. Still feeling shaky, you wander over to your desk. You want to say something, tell someone what's happening. The thought sends the drumming to a nearly unbearable level, but maybe you could leave a note?

Picking up a pen, you're barely able to write a single letter before you're thrown backwards, catching your balance just in time.

Feeling unbearably frustrated, you lie back in your bed, not even bothering to crawl under the covers, despite the cool air. 

The ceiling changes to a familiar sight. It's the stars, everything you saw on top of the TARDIS. The lights seem to wink at you, galaxies bathed with golden and purple light spin. None of them are recognizable, but the thought makes you appreciate the blue box even more.

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Waking up in a much better mindset, you're greeted with the same sight, which puts a smile on your face. Stretching, you get dressed and wander to the counsel room. You're the first one there. Smirking to yourself, you walk around the counsel, running a hand on the edge. 

A humming comes in response, first in appreciation, then in worry. Of course she saw how you acted last night.

"No more tattling." You warn, turning around after hearing someone else walk in.

"Morning dear." Missy waves, coming to stand beside you.

"We are in a time machine." You point out, shaking your head.

"And," She begins, pushing a few buttons on the counsel, the doors opening, "It's morning." 

The edge of a snowy mountain greets you, along with the most beautiful sunrise. Three large suns on the horizon, the sky full of light orange and yellow.

"Alright, it's morning." You agree, leaning on the door frame to watch. An idea then pops into your head, a way to be evenly matched. "Teach me to fly?"

Missy walks onto the mountain, looking back at you with a somewhat thoughtful look.

"I don't see why not." She shrugs, taking your hand and pulling you out. "You'd make a better pilot than blondie."

Laughing, you join her on the edge, dangling you feet over the side. Definitely a very long drop. Her face changes to a more serious one.

"I was told you had a little... episode." Tattletale. Though she might've told Missy before you warned her, but still! 

"I'm fine now." You answer lowly, staring straight ahead.

"What happened?" She presses. You sigh, really not wanting to answer, knowing the consequence.

"Frustrated? Knowing the Master is out there, Izzy acting different..." Dancing around the truth, but it's not a total lie. 

"Still not telling the whole truth, poppet." She squeezes your hand. You bite your lip as the threat lingers in your head. She can see straight through you. Time Ladies.

Acting on impulse, as well as hoping actions don't count, you take both of her hands and place them on your temples, knowing that's how the Doctor has done it.

You pull it to the front of your head. The Master's TARDIS leading you into that room, waking up in the medbay with the drumming, how it forces you to act different. More controlled, more confident, less kind. 

Gently pulling her hands away, you feel the drums getting louder. It knows what you just did. Taking a deep breath, collecting yourself, you risk a glance at Missy.

She looks genuinely scared, and slightly frozen. Her eyes show hundreds of years of darkness. In that, you know for sure she once had them in her head too.