He was trying to make peace with his past.
So was she.
James Barnes and Anastasia Morozov were similar in many ways, and possibly the only people on the planet who understood each other. Both having a past with HYDRA and experiments, being used and...
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bucky
"Doc, how much can you actually tell me about Ana?" I asked, I was just about to leave but I had to double back. Raynor was the only person who knew Ana in any capacity to give me answers, if she was legally allowed to.
"Depends on the questions you ask." Dr Raynor answered, I nodded.
"How is she?" I asked, I wasn't sure how else to put the question forward.
"She um... I find the two of you very interesting. You are more ahead of her in some areas, she is more ahead of you in others. But you have the knowledge that the Winter Soldier is gone, that all of that is behind you. Anastasia..."
"She doesn't have that." I realised what she was saying.
"It's big for her, not having complete control. And before all of this you had a normal life, it was a century ago but you had one."
"She never did." I realised.
"Exactly."
"How far does she have to go?"
"Further than you, but her progress is fast."
"Will she ever let me in?"
"In what capacity?" Raynor asked, I realised then what I had just asked. I didn't say anything. "Alright, tell me what's holding you back and then I might give you an answer."
"Everyone I meet I have to lie to, or it would take so much of me to give them everything I've been through. I like her, and she already knows who I am." I started, not sure why I was even voicing this. I guess I knew she wouldn't be able to tell anyone else what I tell her now. And I had to get it off my chest. "I've tried dating, but I'm a hundred and six years old. I met Ana when she was a kid at the Red Room for Christ's sake."
"I think your predicament is... a challenging one. You met her when she was young, but that wasn't a choice. None of this has been a choice. You, hopefully, weren't attracted to her then. I don't think that it violates anything morally speaking, that is unless she is uncomfortable with it. You'll have to talk to her about it if it worries you."
"She told me she didn't want a relationship unless it was with someone who understands her."
"That is a very short list of people in the world." Raynor told me, which I already knew.
"I just need to know if there is any chance that..." I couldn't even get the sentence out, but I didn't need to.
"The fact that you call her Ana is probably a good sign." Raynor told me, I then remembered that she had only ever addressed Ana by her full name.
"Right..."
"It will take time. If I know her at all, she's probably terrified she'll end up hurting you or killing you and she won't know it until she gets control back. If she gets control back. And if Empress leaves you in a state that you can be found." She told me, I nodded slowly. "I can't give you the answers you're looking for. You have to ask Anastasia, have a grown-up conversation about it."
