He was trying to make peace with his past.
So was she.
James Barnes and Anastasia Morozov were similar in many ways, and possibly the only people on the planet who understood each other. Both having a past with HYDRA and experiments, being used and...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
bucky
“Are you okay?” I asked after I had collapsed next to her. That was... indescribable.
“I’m better than okay.” She replied, good. I just couldn’t shake this feeling that we had done this before. “I just have this strange feeling of deja vu.” She added, I rolled onto my side and put my arm over her bare stomach.
I had done this before. This exact motion, putting my arm over her while we were both naked.
Was I remembering something?
“So do I.” I told her, I looked away from her for a second. I had to process what my brain was trying to tell me.
She could tell something was wrong.
“We should get back to the party, they’ll be wondering where we are.” I told her before she could press me about it. I knew she would eventually, but I had to have something tangible to talk about first.
“Okay.” She replied quietly, sitting up and immediately pulling away from me.
Fuck.
I’d already fucked this up.
~
I couldn’t focus. I wish I could say it was because I was still riding on a high from sleeping with Ana, but alas, it was because I kept having these flashbacks. They stopped me from being able to remember what I was supposed to be doing.
We had slept together before. A few times, actually. It explained how I knew where to kiss her, how to move with her. She didn’t know. There was no way she could know. Not with how she looked at me afterwards.
I’m not surprised.
It seems that Hydra kept wiping our memories of each other in an attempt to keep us on task. As the memories slowly came back to me I remembered each time and the ramifications of it.
The first time we were forgiven.
The second time we were punished.
The third was when things got a little harsher. That’s when they started specifically erasing our memories of each other. Or they tried to. Whenever we saw each other, we seemed to remember.
The fourth they realised it was an issue. Every time we were off ice at the same time we somehow found each other. They erased our memories again and hoped that something would change.
The fifth time they decided that it was best to only have one of us off ice at a time. They erased our memories again and made sure to put in place new protocols for using us. And made note to investigate new ways to erase memories more permanently.
The sixth time was different. They had taken Ana off ice, she found me in cryo and broke us out. I wasn’t brainwashed and she had control if only for a short while. We thought we were free... we weren’t. That was when they realised I wasn’t the issue, it was Ana. They had developed a new way to erase memories, a more permanent way. They used it on her, the old way on me. They knew they could use her against me if they needed to... but she was too dangerous if she had something she could lose.
