Polyamory | Star Trek (Spirk x OC)

2.14 - Emotional Love

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When Spock had left the bridge, he hadn't left with a destination. He just needed to leave. Obviously, there was the professional, logical, reason of why he had to leave. He had relieved himself of command, his place was no longer on the bridge. But even that reason was filled with the emotions that Spock just didn't want to feel anymore. The eyes of the crew as he lost control. The burning anger as he attacked Kirk. The soft warmth of electric blue that he felt... that he felt guilty for having focus on him when their partner was gasping for breath. They were all suffocating him.

And then there was the grief. It was both a feeling of an empty pit in his heart that would never be filled again and a heavy pressure weighing down on his mind, stopping him from focusing on anything but the loss no matter how much he tried to meditate it away.

Perhaps that loss was why he somehow found himself in Transporter Room One, staring blankly yet expressively at the pad that his mother had not appeared on.

Although Spock heard the door open and close, he did not react. "Speak your mind, Spock." Sarek said as he came to stand at the entranceway of where the pads were located and the controls.

"That would be unwise." Spock replied quietly, his voice distant in the fog of emotion and memory.

"What is necessary is never unwise." Sarek corrected his son lightly.

"I'm as conflicted as I once was as a child." Spock whispers, too lost in his mind to hear the door being used once more.

Sarek noted the entrance of the cadet behind him, but still focused on his son. "You will always be a child of two worlds. I am grateful for this. And for you."

"I feel anger for the one who took mother's life. An anger I cannot control." Spock confessed sharply, glaring at the pads below his feet.

"I believe that she would say: do not try to." Sarek consoled, slowly walking into the room, though stopping short of the pad, not being able to bring himself to step foot on it. "You asked me once why I married your mother. I married her because I loved her."

At the emotional admission, Spock turned around to face his father. But his eyes did not meet the dark ones he expected, but those always familiar blues, stood a few feet behind his father. "Caliaire?" Spock couldn't explain it when he suddenly felt a comforting warmth in his heart, even through all of the sickening and cold feelings that raced through his body.

Cali felt like he was interrupting a moment between father and son and was about to leave when Spock spotted him. When he met the eyes of his beloved Vulcan, he couldn't bring himself to leave. Instead, he found his feet brining him further into the room.

"I am Ambassador Sarek." The ambassador introduced. He was not blind. He had noted how the cadet had kept turning to look at Spock whilst he was on the bridge. He had seen the way Spock had mirrored the stolen glances. He could tell that it was the silverette's voice that had broken through to his son, not his own.

"Cadet Caliaire, sir." Cali replied lightly with a small nod of respect to the ambassador before he turned his head back to Spock so that he was facing him fully. Cali looked into Spock's eyes and saw all of his overwhelming emotion in conflict again after his conversation with his father. Cali walked over to him, standing just on the border of respectful and intimate distance, his warm eyes focused entirely on Spock. Spock appreciated that he didn't touch him in his father's presence like he could tell he wanted to, even if he somewhat longed for the warmth of Cali's embrace as well. They just shared a look, not needing to say anything, Cali's eyes and gentle smile expressing all that he needed them to.

The small gesture on top of his conversation with his father, finally allowed Spock's mind to sort through all that plagued it. He knew what he needed to do. "I must return to the bridge." He announced, looking from his father to the Polyvore.

Cali turned to look at the ambassador, feeling his gaze on him. "I'll catch up Amatus." Cali replied to Spock's unasked question, though that only made the Vulcan gain more as he looked between his father and his... Caliaire.

Cali and Sarek watched Spock leave before they turned to each other. "I see that you are close to my son." Sarek commented, his tone steady and logical, as expected from the Vulcan, even if Cali could see the emotion behind it. Perhaps it was due to spending so much time with his son.

"I like to think so sir." Cali replied honestly, stepping down from the pad so that he was level with the Ambassador.

"I must ask, what is the type of relationship you wish to have with him?"

Cali smiled thoughtfully. He, of course, loved Spock, and had thought of pursuing a romantic relationship with him, but was that actually what the Vulcan wanted? "Any kind that he'll have me, sir." Cali decided, "While I find myself loving him, there has been some issues between us in the past and I understand that he is conflicted about it, especially with what has happened now. I will stay by his side as his friend if that is all he wants from me or his lover if he'll have me. Sir."

Sarek looked at Cali thoughtfully, examining the man in front of him as he thought on his words. "From what I have witnessed, he is comfortable with you. I will respect his judgment. You may return to the bridge."

"Thank you sir." Cali replied with a nod before making his way out of the transporter room.

As Sarek watched the cadet leave, he found himself wanting to smile, just slightly, at the man. Of course, the Vulcan was much more in control of his facial expressions than his son, and stopped himself from doing it.

Left alone in the transporter room, Sarek's eyes slowly moved to the transporter pad. His face may not have looked any different as he stared at the pad, but his eyes gave it all away. Like father. Like son.

~~*~~

Although Cali left the transporter room with a respectable pace, it quickened significantly once in the corridor, with hopes of catching up with Spock.

Luckily, it seemed Spock had the same hope, as Cali spotted him quickly, walking at a significantly slower pace than he usually did.

Cali didn't say anything as he caught up to Spock, slowing to his pace so that he walked alongside him. Neither of them continued to say anything as Cali brushed their hands together as they walked. Not even to comment on how Spock had purposefully walked with his hands at his sides, not behind his back as he always did. Nor when Spock reached out and linked their pinkies together, the closest the Vulcan would ever get to holding hands whilst walking.

Without mentioning any of that, they made their way to the bridge together.

~~*~~

A much shorter chapter today, but I thought it would be best to keep this emotional reprieve separate before the drama of the movie continues.