Polyamory | Star Trek (Spirk x OC)

1.2 - Just Can't Take My Eyes Off Him

~~*~~

Unfortunately, no matter how hard he tried to forget it, the incident still played on Jim's mind several days later. He hadn't seen the silver-haired man, who he realised rather regretfully that he couldn't remember the name of, around campus once since that morning when he had woken up next to him. 

But he could still remember how his silver hair gleamed like metal and framed his handsomely toned face perfectly. He remembered how those electric eyes seemed to pierce his soul and yet Jim couldn't find it in himself to dislike the feeling. He'd even remembered one little snippet of what had happened after they arrived at Jim's room, the blue-eyed man pinned under him looking so delicate, yet an image of the reverse, him pinned under the man, hair dripping down over him like a silver cage making the handsome face the only thing that Jim could see underneath his strong frame. 

Of course, Jim didn't want to remember any of this. He'd purposefully tried to forget it. But the image of the beautiful man seemed burned into his memories and determined to keep reminding him of what had happened.

Sighing in annoyance at his own mind, Jim entered the library and looked around in search of his friends who were meant to be meeting him to see they had yet to arrive. Picking a table big enough for them all, he sat and grabbed his PADD to flick through out of boredom as he waited for them to arrive. 

After a minute, that too bored him. He knew that he shouldn't have left his dorm so early as he'd have to wait ages, but time seemed to go faster to him than it actually had and so here he was. He decided to look around the rather bare library for something to help his boredom. While this particular library wasn't used by many due to its smaller size in comparison to the other ones on campus, it was especially barren today with only one group of friends on the opposite side of the working area. 

Although they were talking at a normal conversational volume, it was hard not to hear them and get distracted since they were the only ones there beside himself and thus the only source of noise in the otherwise silent room. Deciding that perhaps they may provide him some entertainment while he waited impatiently for his friends, he looked over to see who was in the group.

It seemed to be made up of six people, two women and four men, all talking and laughing happily. Jim's eyes caught on the two women. Both were quite beautiful, one being a small Orion girl and the other appearing human at first look but with cat like eyes that made Jim second guess his assumption. 

Pulling his eyes away from them reluctantly, he looked over the men to see one sat on the left on the women while the other two snuggled on the other side of the table together, one's head in the other's lap. Jim's curious eyes continued to observe them, watching as one of the men lovingly stroked the fairly long wavy silver hair of his lover as they both laughed at something the Orion woman had said.

Wait, silver?

His eyes quickly snapped back to the head on the man's lap. A blue blush dusted his cheeks as the warmest smile Jim had ever seen brightened up his face and caused his electric blue eyes to crinkle cutely. It was the man!

Jim tried to listen in to their conversation, but his heart seemed so loud in that moment that it almost deafened everything they said with the exception of the bluish man's gorgeous laugh that made Jim feel warm inside. Suddenly mesmerized by every little move the man made, Jim couldn't help but stare as they continued laughing like no one else was there. 

Though he wasn't ready to watch as the man who had him completely spellbound leant up from his thigh pillow and pulled the man who he had used down to lock their lips in an intimate kiss. Jim was frozen, shocked to see it, almost not noticing as the man left the group of friends with a wave and a farewell.

For some reason, Jim suddenly felt uncomfortable with the realisation that not only had he slept with a man, but also that that man had a boyfriend. But he couldn't work out why. He knew for a fact that he'd slept with girls in the past who had claimed to have boyfriends or who he had seen with someone before or after. 

It had never really bothered him as long as it never caught up with him later, not that he didn't enjoy getting into the odd bar fights sometimes. No, he knew deep inside that it wasn't the idea of having slept with someone who already had a boyfriend that bothered him. It was the fact that the silver-haired-beauty who had him so captivated with some unknown charm had a boyfriend.

He heard his name called causing him to snap out of his thoughts quickly as he looked over at the entrance to see Bones and Sulu approaching his table. 

He had to banish those thoughts of developing jealousy for the man who got to spend so much time with the handsome silverette out of his mind.

He wasn't gay. What should he care?

~~*~~

Alas, thoughts were not banished.

In fact, they were renewed every time Jim saw the silver-haired-man around campus. He'd seen him a few times now. It was like his subconscious was purposefully searching him out as he could now easily spot him within a crowd of people all rushing around to get to classes. 

Every time he saw him, even if it were only a momentary glimpse in passing, he couldn't help but watch him, still as enchanted by him as that day in the library. The way he smiled so brightly every time. The way he laughed with so much joy. The way he walked confidently with just a slight swing to his hips. 

Jim couldn't work out why he had noticed everything about him, why he was so hypnotised by the man. It was making him seriously question his sexuality which, until this one man, he'd been so confident in. He'd never been attracted to, or even looked at, anyone other than women before. He knew he was straight. But was was the key word in that sentence. He was definitely straight before but his actions that night, his thoughts since, were definitely not to be considered as such. 

Why did this beautiful man, with his goddamn captivating smile that made him feel so warm inside and make him unable to look away, have to come and confuse him so?

He was beginning to consider talking to Sulu for advice, knowing that his classmate was gay and happily married with a daughter. However, his insecurities about it all got in the way. What if it all turned out to be nothing and he told them all? He wasn't even that close to Sulu, only really talking to him in class or in the presence of other mutual friends, especially in comparison to his friendship with Bones.

He'd have to figure it out on his own.

~~*~~