Souls | Severus Snape

30 | Let Her Go

Severus slammed the door close, huffing angrily as he walked into his office. He lashed out on his students again today, causing his colleagues to voice out their concern for his well being. He was known as a stone hearted teacher, but he became more angry and cold towards everyone, including Albus and Minerva.

They could not just watch as Severus let out of his anger towards the innocent students when they did not even deserve to face his wrath. It was absolutely painful to see Severus returned to his old routine, a life without you, if not worse than before.

Minerva did not miss the longing in Severus' eyes every time they landed on your usual seat in the Great Hall, which was now left empty. She also noticed the way he would constantly look to his side when he walked through the halls, as if reminiscing the time when you were still there, walking by his side with a smile on your face.

He missed you dearly, and it did not go unnoticed by the teachers but there was nothing they could do. A week ago, when the news of Professor Snape's affair was all over the Wizarding World, they were flabbergasted. He was so in love with you, and he had broken so many rules of his life for you, that they felt it was such a crime for him to do such things towards you.

But when you left, no one could stop you. Not even the headmaster. You were determined to leave, and Albus could see the devastation in your eyes when you came to him. He knew you would not stay unless Severus was not guilty. He could only hope Severus would do something to prove his innocence.

The teachers knew Severus' heart was wretched since you left, and they could see how much your absence was affecting him. During dinner, they spoke out about this, asking him if he was doing fine. They never intended to offend him when they asked about you, but at the mention of your name, Severus immediately fled from the hall, carrying his broken heart away.

Now as he plopped down into his chair, his rage quickly subsided into dejection when he realised he was back in his cold office, alone. Severus had returned to his old self, the time when he had not found his soulmate yet, the light of his darkness, the love of his life.

He felt a tug on his chest, reminding him that he had lost you.

Just a week ago, he got to wake up to you, holding you in his arms and kissing your sweet lips. And now he could only dream of you, if he was lucky enough not to be haunted by the nightmares of you leaving him.

He sucked in a deep breath, swallowing a lump in his throat. Severus had never felt so heartbroken before, that it felt like he could die if he continues to live like this, wallowing himself in pity and memories of you.

Memories, how agonising it was to to think that the lovely things he used to have with you, now were turning into memories. He could no longer have you brightening his mornings, and he could no longer have you accompanying his nights.

He was alone, and loneliness had never felt so hurtful until he lost you.

Severus' heartbeat quickened when he saw his leather-bound notebook, laying on his table. The notebook was rather quaint, and a little beat-up, but Severus had used it for years since the day he started teaching so it meant a lot to him. He wrote some notes for his classes, many things about potions which he discovered throughout his years of teaching in the book.

He treasured the notebook because of the reasons, and most of all, tears pooled in the corner of his eyes because he knew what he would find on the last page of the book.

He took it in his hands, carefully opening the book. A sad smile was cracked on his lips, as soon as his eyes fell on your neat handwriting on the last page. It was such a good feeling to see something of yours, even as simple as a handwriting, when you were so far from him now.