𝙵𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚅𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚢 | 𝙹𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗

.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑*̑𝙵𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗*̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.

Hyunjin angrily sat down in the visitors booth and set his things down.

"Mr. Kim should arrive momentarily," A receptionist told him as he nodded back. He looked angry but in reality the boy was trying not to cry. Trying not to show that he was really fucked up by everything seungmin did to him and his friends.

When he looked back through the glass there was the boy who had ruined it all, the one who broke people, ruined relationships and left them to pick up all the pieces.

Seungmin picked up the black phone looking as if he could cry from pure happiness of seeing the boy he loved. The one who he'd sent hundreds of letters to which always were left without reply. The one he loved. The one who had also ruined everything by taking the other side.

Hyunjin reluctantly picked up the phone as well, holding it up to his ear. He felt so many different emotions but all of them led back to the same thing. Hate. Resentment.

"Jinnie-" Seungmin said so softly. "I missed you.. Why didn't you write me back?"

That voice, the one that easily swayed him and was once a comfort to him but now sent shivers down his spine.

"Don't, seungmin." Hyunjin said with clenched teeth

"Don't what-"

"Don't pretend like everything is okay!" Hyunjin eyes immediately filled with tears upon saying that.

This was something that was breaking hyunjin down. Pretending to be okay but in reality the walls were crumbling brick by brick.

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't come here to make things right.." His eyes shifted to seungmins "I'm ending things once and for all,"

Seungmins whole figure seemed to shrink upon those words. He looked sadder and almost regretful. However, the boy had to hear what he had to say no matter if it hurt him to hear it.

"Jin, I still love you.. Read the letters it explains everything!"

"I don't want to read them. I won't read them so please just stop sending them," Hyunjin nodded as he spoke, the tears in his eyes threatening to fall at any moment.

"Hyunjin please, you're the only one I have left! My parents left me they don't even talk to me anymore, please..."

"It's because you ruined everything!" Hyunjin cried out as the first tears slipped down his cheeks "I lost everything because of you! I was so humiliated because of what you did and I was left to pick up all the pieces and watch jeongin cry because of you"

"But I didn't do it to you, hyunjin. I could never do something like that to you!"

"That's what seungmins told me too but look where we are now..." Jeongins words came to hyunjins mind which was on the verge of failing to hold his argument.

"I don't believe you anymore," Seungmins eyes flickered with sadness "so let's just stop talking from now on because our relationship is over and has been for a long time-"

"No, jinnie please. It's not over don't leave me,"

Seungmins eyes welled with tears as he leaned closer to the glass just wishing he could just be closer to hyunjin.

"Second chances are a thing, just give me one please hyunjin!"

"They aren't a thing with me.. It's over seungmin." He hung up the phone and gathered all of his things as he walked away from the booth wiping his tears.

Very faintly he could hear seungmin still speaking through the phone saying that he was sorry and that he still loved hyunjin but the boy just walked away.

"Sir, you still have fifteen minutes for your visitation-"

Hyunjin just walked out of the police station and to his car. He finally broke once his door was closed. The tears spilled over in heartbreaking sobs as he drove home.

The roads were blurry but somehow he made it home without crashing and wiped his tears away from his cheeks. His father wasn't home which was good so he didn't have to explain everything so suddenly.

He climbed out of his car and walked inside of the house where he went to the kitchen counter and took the lighter his father used to light the candles in the kitchen.

Once the door was closed he sat down at his desk and searched through his drawers for those godforsaken letters that he'd never opened and the joint that lay next to them in a small box. He opened the box and grabbed it, immediately lighting it.

he grabbed the letters next all tied together in a neat bundle, he opened the first one ever sent to him. The familiar letters spread across the paper in a scrawl of purple pen send a form of nostalgia through him back to when seungmin used to leave him letters under his pillow after sleepovers.

Soon enough the paper was spread in front of him as he cracked open the first beer and began reading them.

Dear hyunjin,

I know you must think that I am horrible for everything I have done to you guys. I would think the same.

I wasn't in my right mind but I'm getting help now. I have counseling every Monday and Thursday where I get to talk about what's bothering me and quite honestly it's helping.

I know that this isn't the seungmin you fell in love with and I am so desperately sorry but please wait for me.

You're still the hyunjin I fell in love with. The one who always used to hold me so tightly at night and the one who always made me feel okay no matter how lost I truly felt.

I'm sorry that I did this to you. I know I probably lost all of your trust and love but if you can find it in your heart to just understand where I came from.

I really, truly do love you, hyunjin. If it took me years to finally prove to you that I do, I'll go through hell and back. I can't lose you like I lost everyone else. You're the only one I have left.

Love,
          Seungmin

Hyunjin ripped the letter in half and cried out as he tore it to shreds.

He did the same with all of the other letters after he read them and burned them in the bathroom sink afterwards while getting high off his ass to hopefully just forget seungmin all together.